Blog entry for:

each day, i must renew my commitment to recovery, maintaining that as my top priority. well, this has been an extremely busy morning already, over four hours of work, lots accomplished and it is not even 11 AM. that was the whine for the day, it does not get any better with age, so it is a good thing i can get rid of that garbage early.
the reading talked about the need for me to maintain my recovery, however the quote from the Basic Text refers too FAITH and COURAGE. in the past, i have gone into the whole party line about HOW i maintain my recovery, so i do not find it necessary to do so today. i want to zoom into the connection between COURAGE and FAITH and how that applies to my life.
it is not often that a reading says one thing and i go off in a totally different direction, but as that has happened this morning that is where i am going to go.
as i sit outside, smoking a cigar, the first feeling i get is one of gratitude. i am grateful that a recovery program has provided direction as well as a foundation for me and my life. it is because of recovery, that i can be right here, doing something i love and making a living. for me, FAITH was not something that came easily. that remains unchanged. like many others, i NEED some sort of proof before i believe. that proof elusive as it was for me to see, way back when i was first getting clean and finding some sort of path to recovery, has become less elusive. as a matter of fact, the proof of an outside force acting upon my life, is something i see every minute of almost every day. it is evident and i choose to call that force a HIGHER POWER, what others may call by a variety of names and labels. IT is loving, caring and much more powerful than addiction, and IT does give me everything i NEED today to thrive in this world. the preponderance of the evidence allows my FAITH to grow, and as i grow a little bit more FAITH, i feel a little bit more courageous. i have the ability to walk through the stuff that scares me sh!tless, and each time i get through that FEAR, my FAITH increase just that much more. no i am not becoming FEARLESS, there is bunches of stuff to be afraid about. what i am becoming is confident that, as long as i do the next right thing, events will transpire as they should, and i will be able to survive and yes, even thrive.
so as this is quite an interesting topic, my desk still has much on it that i need to take care of this morning before i can get lunch. it is a good day to recover and most of all it is a great day for me to have FAITH, that i can do everything i need to do, to get through this day clean, whole and just that much more closer to becoming the persson i have always wanted to be. look out work here i come!

∞ DT ∞