ฮด my program foundation ฮด
Posted: Thu, Jun 30, 2005 05:45:17 AM
it has now been 36 hours since meeting with my sponsor and completing my second step and things have yet to settle down inside of me. i usually find the balance i need very quickly, but this time there seems to be a bit more going on.
i do know some of the questions we discussed were uncomfortable and opened some doors that i was trying to avoid at least unconsciously. but, so it goes.
yes i do want to continue getting the gifts that GOD and the program wants to give me. yes i do want to grow. the idea that upsets me the most is that what was needed way back when, has now changed. my sponsor suggested that maybe i never had a map of the minefield and was mistaking living in FAITH and TRUST for knowledge. the foundation of my recovery may remain the same, but it sure does not feel or look like it did a couple of days ago. looking at the questions, instead of seeking the answers has never been one of my strong points. i can definitely say today that i am not accepting of not having all the answers either. so here i am once again, at the edge of my human limitations, looking over the brink, and trying to grow the FAITH and TRUST in GOD to move forward .
so what to i need to do today to maintain my foundation? LISTEN for GOD'S will, TRUST that voice, and move forward with the confidence that GOD'S will and my own true will, not self-will, are aligned.
Not much really! just change everything once again!
∞ DT ∞
i do know some of the questions we discussed were uncomfortable and opened some doors that i was trying to avoid at least unconsciously. but, so it goes.
yes i do want to continue getting the gifts that GOD and the program wants to give me. yes i do want to grow. the idea that upsets me the most is that what was needed way back when, has now changed. my sponsor suggested that maybe i never had a map of the minefield and was mistaking living in FAITH and TRUST for knowledge. the foundation of my recovery may remain the same, but it sure does not feel or look like it did a couple of days ago. looking at the questions, instead of seeking the answers has never been one of my strong points. i can definitely say today that i am not accepting of not having all the answers either. so here i am once again, at the edge of my human limitations, looking over the brink, and trying to grow the FAITH and TRUST in GOD to move forward .
so what to i need to do today to maintain my foundation? LISTEN for GOD'S will, TRUST that voice, and move forward with the confidence that GOD'S will and my own true will, not self-will, are aligned.
Not much really! just change everything once again!
∞ DT ∞