๐ honoring the ๐
Posted: Fri, Dec 13, 2024 07:14:41 AM
truth of my own awakenings as well as those shared by my peers in recovery. for me, this morning anyhow, this was an excellent topic, as i left the meeting last night ruminating about some of the stuff i heard shared by those in attendance. had it been a regular recovery meeting, i would have cut them off, as they wandered far afield from recovery and into pop psychology self-help mumbo-jumbo. they also went a bit deep into their particular brand of spirituality, which i am beginning to find is becoming sort of like a mosquito bite to me, irritating, frustrating but most of time not harmful. i am more than certain, that the issue rests with me and certainly not with them and this topic sent me down a rabbit-hole of self-introspection, as i listened to the void.
returning to the present day world and what i face this morning, i understand that no matter how hard i try, certain things will always run=b me the wrong way and it is not my job to ignore, dismiss or minimize that effect. what bothered me the most abouyt the self-help guru last night was he kept saying “you need” and “you should” as he gave his sage advice. i have to admit, that i went straight to “who the fuck does he think he is to give any sort of advice to me?” my intolerance killed any message i might have been able to get out of what he was offering and the only good part was that i did not share back at him about his lack of experience living a program of recovery, outside of the walls he found himself incarcerated within. sitting here, pounding this out, i can see that i reacted to my feelings, rather than allowing myself to respond, which in this case would have been to acknowledge what i was feeling, feel it and let it fade. instead i carried the boatload of less than stellar feelings into bed last night and slept like shit.
it is time, however, to post this little ditty and get myself out and about into this early morning. i have solved my problem at work, or as the wise man said last night, i have met my challenge at work, as i was writing this. another easy day workout in store for me ahead, and i GET TO finish a project and move on at work. who knows what the day may bring, but perhaps, using the advice i missed last night, i will need to see those as challenges to be addressed, rather than problems that require solutions, just for today.
returning to the present day world and what i face this morning, i understand that no matter how hard i try, certain things will always run=b me the wrong way and it is not my job to ignore, dismiss or minimize that effect. what bothered me the most abouyt the self-help guru last night was he kept saying “you need” and “you should” as he gave his sage advice. i have to admit, that i went straight to “who the fuck does he think he is to give any sort of advice to me?” my intolerance killed any message i might have been able to get out of what he was offering and the only good part was that i did not share back at him about his lack of experience living a program of recovery, outside of the walls he found himself incarcerated within. sitting here, pounding this out, i can see that i reacted to my feelings, rather than allowing myself to respond, which in this case would have been to acknowledge what i was feeling, feel it and let it fade. instead i carried the boatload of less than stellar feelings into bed last night and slept like shit.
it is time, however, to post this little ditty and get myself out and about into this early morning. i have solved my problem at work, or as the wise man said last night, i have met my challenge at work, as i was writing this. another easy day workout in store for me ahead, and i GET TO finish a project and move on at work. who knows what the day may bring, but perhaps, using the advice i missed last night, i will need to see those as challenges to be addressed, rather than problems that require solutions, just for today.
∞ DT ∞