Some memes

to recover? i have to admit, i am one of those who see helicopter society providing **safe** spaces where one does not hear conflicting and disturbing facts and opinions as one of the great downfalls of post-modern civilization. one the political right, it is being facilitated by white-washing history, book bans and censorship. on the left, it is all about grouping together in echo chambers that categorically deny entry to anyone with contrary outlooks on the world, in general. the fact of the matter is that one needs to hear conflicting opinions and less than stellar facts about how society got to where it is, in order to from a balanced outlook on life. with all of that caveat as a prelude to the topic at hand, how can i write about creating a safe space in which any addict can find recovery?
as a member who has a minute clean, it is certainly my duty to foster the atmosphere of recovery in the meetings i attend. for me, these days, it is quite easy, as i only attend one meeting on a regular basis and that is my home group, that is gender specific. that does not mean that there are some strong opinions expressed, some that are recovery based and some that are based in the cultural expectations placed on men by our society, or better put, what one thinks those so called norms happen to be. in the past, i have been the bully that needed to be reined in, as i believed that the language one used was more important than the message one was attempting to convey. as i grow-up in recovery, i may still chafe at the use of certain terms in meetings, but i have found the ways and means to let someone know that perhaps, they may want to choose their words more carefully as there are still many in the fellowship, who are “defenders of the faith.”
as uncomfortable as it is for me to hear a peer going on and on about the dominant spiritual path of my local fellowship, i have a duty to allow them to believe and to express that belief freely and without any push-back or snide remarks. i may have my issues with their spiritual path, as i am more than certain they have issues with mine. in this fellowship, the right to find one's spiritual path is irrevocable and i will defend it with extreme prejudice, whether or not i find it agreeable or palatable to me.
the one issue i really feel strongly about is sexual predation and exploitation on the newest members. i have been the one, in more than one case that had to take a male peer aside and explain to them that allowing the object of their desire the chance to figure things out, instead of falling into the same old patterns, sexually was an ideal they might want to live up to. both parties need to have a safe, judgement free place to find their recovery footing. more than once i have faced strong rebuke when engaged in this conversation and i always push back that this is not a “meet market,” this is a place where one finds folks who want a different manner in which to live, just for today.

∞ DT ∞