๐ฃ integrating spiritual ๐ฃ
Posted: Sun, Jun 1, 2025 09:49:41 AM
principles into my life and doing my best to live consistently by my values, is not always the easiest path to follow. for me, i have the threat of looming daily TENTH STEP, to help me to stay on that path. as i have often said in the past, i HATE to admit when i am wrong! 😒 since i have developed a daily recovery regimen, part of which is taking a peek at my day and honestly assessing what i did well and not so well, i GET TO own the not so well stuff in real time, or at ;east before i lay my head on the pillow. the upshot of all of that, is that when i am about to do something “not so well,” i often pause and consider whether or not i truly want to own being on the wrong side. pumping the brakes on my anger is not something i was born to do, but as i stay clean and live a program, it gets easier and almost auto-magic.
do not get me wrong, i am not a saint or any sort of recovery guru by anyone's measure, my own notwithstanding. i do the best i can and often my best surprises me. once my litany of character defects and the shortcomings that arise out of them, ruled my life. these days they are not quite in driver's seat with the pedal to the metal. walking through life with a minimum wake of damage behind me, is quite an accomplishment and one that i do not take lightly.
part of that walk is to acknowledge those who got clean through this program and went a different direction to stay clean and have a life. there are few addicts who have found the ways and means to do that gig, and i often wonder if i could be one of those. it would make stuff less complicated for me, but the whole religion/spiritual path, is not one that find attractive. fear of dying and debilitating disease is not another path i wish to tread. when i think about that option and how it might work in my life, i do a quick inventory about what i have, how i got it and whether or not it is worth the effort to keep. in my analysis, i find that i am truly welded 👨🏯 to this recovery gig path and actually quite content to stay on it. it is a good day to be clean and embark on my longest run ever. i can say without a doubt, i am not sure i can run for and hour and twenty-five minutes, but i am certainly going to give it my best effort, just for today.
do not get me wrong, i am not a saint or any sort of recovery guru by anyone's measure, my own notwithstanding. i do the best i can and often my best surprises me. once my litany of character defects and the shortcomings that arise out of them, ruled my life. these days they are not quite in driver's seat with the pedal to the metal. walking through life with a minimum wake of damage behind me, is quite an accomplishment and one that i do not take lightly.
part of that walk is to acknowledge those who got clean through this program and went a different direction to stay clean and have a life. there are few addicts who have found the ways and means to do that gig, and i often wonder if i could be one of those. it would make stuff less complicated for me, but the whole religion/spiritual path, is not one that find attractive. fear of dying and debilitating disease is not another path i wish to tread. when i think about that option and how it might work in my life, i do a quick inventory about what i have, how i got it and whether or not it is worth the effort to keep. in my analysis, i find that i am truly welded 👨🏯 to this recovery gig path and actually quite content to stay on it. it is a good day to be clean and embark on my longest run ever. i can say without a doubt, i am not sure i can run for and hour and twenty-five minutes, but i am certainly going to give it my best effort, just for today.
∞ DT ∞