๐ฌ shifting my ๐ญ
Posted: Wed, Dec 10, 2025 10:38:46 AM
focus from me to we does not mean that i disappear from the picture. i have to admit, that this concept confused the living shit out of me, back in the day. what i thought it meant, was that when i shared, i used the terms “we” and “us” to be inclusive. little did i realize, way back when, that when i did so, i was generalizing my experience to all of my peers. it took me a minute to understand that while i shared my recovery with my peers, my experience very rarely matched up with their's. that was the fits time i saw that even though i was giving to the fellowship, i was actually still focusing on me and it was time to allow myself to see the whole as we.
this morning brought the issue to the surface and i more or less inventoried my actions over the past month or so, looking at how i was acting when i was with my peers in recovery. for the most part, i found that even as i was giving to the group, i still had moments where i made it all about me. if i were to assign blame, it would fall upon the “spiritual itch” that i cannot scratch that has plagued me recently. i know that my third step is all about me placing the expectation on myself to not classify and judge others based on my “double secret probation̵ list of rules to live by. letting go of my desire to classify and judge others, and forgiving myself when i drop into that ancient and very familiar set of behaviors. they did serve me well in active addiction as i lived by the “vibes” i got from those around me and based my interactions and relationships on those vibes, whether or not they matched reality. to be tripping over that this far into my recovery journey is more than a bit disconcerting, but it seems to be part of this uncovering my true self process i started a few years ago.
well, i am starting to wander, so i guess it is time to shift my focus and look to my fantasy football and coding projects. i am grateful this morning that i have the time to ponder the mysteries of what make me tick, without getting stuck in the details. it is a good day to be clean.
this morning brought the issue to the surface and i more or less inventoried my actions over the past month or so, looking at how i was acting when i was with my peers in recovery. for the most part, i found that even as i was giving to the group, i still had moments where i made it all about me. if i were to assign blame, it would fall upon the “spiritual itch” that i cannot scratch that has plagued me recently. i know that my third step is all about me placing the expectation on myself to not classify and judge others based on my “double secret probation̵ list of rules to live by. letting go of my desire to classify and judge others, and forgiving myself when i drop into that ancient and very familiar set of behaviors. they did serve me well in active addiction as i lived by the “vibes” i got from those around me and based my interactions and relationships on those vibes, whether or not they matched reality. to be tripping over that this far into my recovery journey is more than a bit disconcerting, but it seems to be part of this uncovering my true self process i started a few years ago.
well, i am starting to wander, so i guess it is time to shift my focus and look to my fantasy football and coding projects. i am grateful this morning that i have the time to ponder the mysteries of what make me tick, without getting stuck in the details. it is a good day to be clean.
∞ DT ∞