Blog entry for:

i like to think that i accept change gracefully and courageously, but of course i do not. i resist change most of the time with all the self-will i can muster and only give in when the pain gets to the point that i cannot stand it any longer. in this aspect i do not believe that i am much different from any of my fellows. slowly however i am coming to the realization that change is not only good but should be something i desire without conditions. many things have changed since i stopped using and i am sure many things will continue to change. looking back at who and what i was i amaazed at how much change has occurred. looking ahead at the man i wish to become i see how much more needs to change. i may not be that arrogant self-centered SOB that walked in here, but i am still not that complete, caring and open man i want to be.
thinking back on the readings of the past couple of days, i do have the tools and desire to change the way i do relationships today, starting with those that existed when i came to the program all the through the loving relationship i am developing with my significant other. today, i am mostly present for what is happening in the here and now with my feelings and behaviors and how they affect others. and of course there is still work to be done and changes to be made in all aspects of my life.
maybe just for today i will accept that i too have the courage to allow change to happen and seek out the things that i can change today.
-- DT --