changing the things i can โ
Posted: Tue, Sep 20, 2011 07:21:31 AM
is a big part of what recovery is all about. the steps and the power to practice them give me the direction and courage i need to change.
as i apply the premise of this reading to where i am this morning, i wonder where it was three days ago, when i was caught up in hating how powerless i was and angry at the object that kept shoving that fact in my face. right here of course, and right where it needed to be. i had to go through all the anger, all the venom, all the obsession and all the trauma and drama, to get here today. this reading, therefore become a positive bit of feedback at the end of a heinous process that took me away from all that is spiritual in my life. the good news, right off the bat, is that i DID NOT use, buy a new toy, hammer someone into the ground or play my oh so familiar passive-aggressive game of monkey warfare against the object of my passion.
this morning, i GET that it is not the world that needs to change and i prayed for the power to remove those i love from the sphere of influence that has separated them from their connection to the spiritual world. i did preface it with a quick ‘if this is the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery,’ just to keep everything in the correct space. there are days when i can do that and i wonder if i will receive the power from the POWER that fuels my recovery to change stuff i see that is in need of changing. not that in the long run, it really matters, what matters the most this morning is my acceptance of what power i have, not a whole lot. what i change, even less. with those two salient facts in mind, i need not strive to change what i feel today. i can however change my life, by doing a quick dip back into the THIRD STEP. it there that my power comes from, and it is there i discover whatever i NEED to live today.
so what can i change, and where will the wisdom i need to see that come from? well as strange as that sounds, right here and right now, i do not have a clue, so by surrendering my will and my life. i WILL get what i NEED, the clues and the facts plainly stated and without any sort of twisty pretzel logic to sort through. all i have to do, is stay awake, do the next right thing and be present for opportunities for growth and wisdom to present themselves, just for today.
as i apply the premise of this reading to where i am this morning, i wonder where it was three days ago, when i was caught up in hating how powerless i was and angry at the object that kept shoving that fact in my face. right here of course, and right where it needed to be. i had to go through all the anger, all the venom, all the obsession and all the trauma and drama, to get here today. this reading, therefore become a positive bit of feedback at the end of a heinous process that took me away from all that is spiritual in my life. the good news, right off the bat, is that i DID NOT use, buy a new toy, hammer someone into the ground or play my oh so familiar passive-aggressive game of monkey warfare against the object of my passion.
this morning, i GET that it is not the world that needs to change and i prayed for the power to remove those i love from the sphere of influence that has separated them from their connection to the spiritual world. i did preface it with a quick ‘if this is the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery,’ just to keep everything in the correct space. there are days when i can do that and i wonder if i will receive the power from the POWER that fuels my recovery to change stuff i see that is in need of changing. not that in the long run, it really matters, what matters the most this morning is my acceptance of what power i have, not a whole lot. what i change, even less. with those two salient facts in mind, i need not strive to change what i feel today. i can however change my life, by doing a quick dip back into the THIRD STEP. it there that my power comes from, and it is there i discover whatever i NEED to live today.
so what can i change, and where will the wisdom i need to see that come from? well as strange as that sounds, right here and right now, i do not have a clue, so by surrendering my will and my life. i WILL get what i NEED, the clues and the facts plainly stated and without any sort of twisty pretzel logic to sort through. all i have to do, is stay awake, do the next right thing and be present for opportunities for growth and wisdom to present themselves, just for today.
∞ DT ∞