โ living clean means learning to meet challenge. โ
Posted: Sun, May 27, 2007 07:57:03 AM
things new and unfamiliar serve as challenges, whether those things appear good or bad to me.
so once again, the reading is speaking to me about detaching judgments from events in my life. this time however it seems to be talking about the challenges i face every day as a human being. what a concept, that life’s challenges are part of the human condition and not just those of my life in recovery. there are days that i want to think that somehow, life is different for an addict in recovery, and honestly it is. when i was using i could avoid or numb challenges by a temporary moment of bliss. when i returned to reality, the situation was often different and once again i escaped facing a challenge. the part that i did not realize was that each time i did that i made myself that much less prepared for the next challenge and i lowered my opinion of myself. as time progressed i came to believe that i far to fragile to face any of life on life’s terms and did whatever i could to avoid that task.
recovery has taught me that life just is. there are many things that i do not want to face, obstacles, opposition to my plans, physical impairments, emotional and physical pain, just to name a few. honestly if there was a manner of living that allowed me that freedom, i might just decide to do so. well there is, i could withdraw into some sort of monastery and live a sheltered, cloistered life, far from the turmoil of the world. or i can live the program of recovery. recovery does not shield me from the events of life, but it does provide me the tools and the means to accept those challenges, face them, and live another moment without the use of of chemistry to dull the blow. i know today that i can face the pain in my body that has accumulated over the past two days, proceed with me task of cleaning off my garden plot, and still take care of myself and some of the business i have on my plate, and even make a meeting at the end of my day. there will be challenges throughout the day, of that i am certain, all i have to do is face them, do my best to remove the label and proceed with a bit of courage into the next moment. i accept the gift of life that recovery has given me, and with that acceptance comes the desire to accept all of the little and not so little challenges that may come my way. so off to the garden, time to battle the tall grass prairie that has taken over the pplot in which i grow vegetables. this too shall pass!
so once again, the reading is speaking to me about detaching judgments from events in my life. this time however it seems to be talking about the challenges i face every day as a human being. what a concept, that life’s challenges are part of the human condition and not just those of my life in recovery. there are days that i want to think that somehow, life is different for an addict in recovery, and honestly it is. when i was using i could avoid or numb challenges by a temporary moment of bliss. when i returned to reality, the situation was often different and once again i escaped facing a challenge. the part that i did not realize was that each time i did that i made myself that much less prepared for the next challenge and i lowered my opinion of myself. as time progressed i came to believe that i far to fragile to face any of life on life’s terms and did whatever i could to avoid that task.
recovery has taught me that life just is. there are many things that i do not want to face, obstacles, opposition to my plans, physical impairments, emotional and physical pain, just to name a few. honestly if there was a manner of living that allowed me that freedom, i might just decide to do so. well there is, i could withdraw into some sort of monastery and live a sheltered, cloistered life, far from the turmoil of the world. or i can live the program of recovery. recovery does not shield me from the events of life, but it does provide me the tools and the means to accept those challenges, face them, and live another moment without the use of of chemistry to dull the blow. i know today that i can face the pain in my body that has accumulated over the past two days, proceed with me task of cleaning off my garden plot, and still take care of myself and some of the business i have on my plate, and even make a meeting at the end of my day. there will be challenges throughout the day, of that i am certain, all i have to do is face them, do my best to remove the label and proceed with a bit of courage into the next moment. i accept the gift of life that recovery has given me, and with that acceptance comes the desire to accept all of the little and not so little challenges that may come my way. so off to the garden, time to battle the tall grass prairie that has taken over the pplot in which i grow vegetables. this too shall pass!
∞ DT ∞