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a Power greater than myself can give me the care i need. surrender turns to acceptance when i let this Power into my life.
how did this particular analogy slip past over the course of time. honestly, it probably did not, i just chose to go another direction. growing acceptance is a process not unlike falling in love? i can see this as the way it happens for me, after all, falling in love has always been quite a slow process for me, and growing acceptance is not any quicker. the irony of this reading is this is what i touched on yesterday, and this morning i feel as if my eyes are finally open for the first time. acceptance and faith are, for me, symbiotic processes. as my acceptance grows it nourishes my FAITH, which in turn allows me to accept even more. since i am hardly a person that accepts things on face value, nor am i a ‘true’ believer thinking about how these two aspects of the path of of recovery are intertwined is an excellent exercise this Sunday morning. i can easily see how my ever so discerning mind plays a role in how i see FAITH and ACCEPTANCE growing in my life. i am coming to realize, that recovery for me, is a part of my life that i can choose to accept and nurture, or endure and tolerate. the shift between those paradigms has probably been occurring over the course of the last year, but how i see myself and the world around me is quite different these days. i am also beginning to understand the danger addicts with clean time in the double digits face. although relapse is part of what goes on around me, if i do not allow myself to open my mind and allow myself to accept what is going on, i will walk away from this gig, as my tolerance has never been high for anything i had to endure, be it physical pain, emotional pain, or just people being human.
so thinking of how infatuation grows into love as a process that i am familiar with, i can easily see how growing surrender into acceptance is also a process in my life. perhaps someday this whole lengthy process will be shortened but until that day, i just have to let go(surrender) and accept that life in recovery is a better path for me than the alternative. and on that thought time to see if i can get some stuff done today.

∞ DT ∞