โ from surrender โ
Posted: Wed, Nov 11, 2015 07:42:51 AM
i have a couple of themes playing in my head this morning, both come from my peers and both have had profound effects across the course of my recovery. the first was that it felt as they were being lied to by “the rooms.” after a few minutes i understood what it was they were talking about and saw that there have been times when i, too, have felt that those who are in the rooms, seemed to be missing the point. so after a quick dive into necessity and sufficiency, i can now say that total abstinence is necessary for my ongoing recovery growth, but not sufficient. IF i want more than just being a member of the No Matter What club, then i have to do more than just stay clean. once i surrendered to addiction, and began to accept it as fact, then i was ready to do nothing more, after all, who needs to be one of those brain-washed recovery zombies. what i discovered was, being one of those, was the path to having more to my life than mere existence. for me, and i state that unequivocally, i needed something more, and what i found out was that there certainly was more to be had. living a program of recovery 24/7 was both necessary and sufficient to the process of growing into the person i never dreamt i could be. nothing else would work for me, and trust me, i tries every shortcut and dodge oi could imagine. in the long run, it was ONLY the total package that worked for me, and that is all i can give to anyone else.
the second theme, was another peer, expressing their struggle to come to terms with religion and how it is expressed within the rooms of our fellowship. honestly for a fellowship that purports to be religion free and HIGHER POWER neutral, there is a whole lot of things that feel more like religion, and a very specific one, instead of of spirituality. thanks to another of my peers, who i once sponsored, i have finally emerged from my struggle with this whole religious zealotry i often encounter. i had to cease fighting (yes my term for surrender) the notion that i could find a room that was truly religion free. the fact is, most people, myself included, are lazy and will not go any further than they need to. for them, the religious notions that they entered the rooms with, are sufficient for them to build a program of recovery. for me, those notions were neither sufficient or necessary and i had to fumble around for years before i found the path i was always walking upon. i am grateful that i have come to a place of acceptance that all that “GOD” talk i hear, applies to everyone who is spouting it off, and no longer is part of what i need to be concerned about. simply put “GOD is GOD.” in my spiritual view, that makes perfect sense and i can move along down the road, to my next struggle, which today i how the FVCK am i going to remain spiritual when i get out on the road, with all of those dweebs who cannot or will not drive rationally on weather impacted roads. NOTE TO SELF: BE PREPARED TO BR FRUSTRATED AND LEARN TO ACCEPT THAT THEY ARE WHO THEY,WEAK AND FEEBLE DRIVERS!
∞ DT ∞