Blog entry for:
Sat, Jan 17, 2009 10:03:29 AM
Σ it may be difficult to watch as the insanity of someone else manifests itself. …
posted: Sat, Jan 17, 2009 10:03:29 AM
but if i detach myself from the problem, i can start living in the solution. this has been an ongoing issue for me, probably for the last four months or so. every time i think i can detach, i get hooked in again. what i am hearing this morning, it is my job to say what i need to say, then move on. this reading is particularly apt, as i am going to yet another pointless service meeting, well perhaps not pointless, but certainly without much merit, where i will once again watch as someone i care for, practices some insanity, in fact, the same insanity that they have been engaged in over the past eighteen months. i have been drawn into some insane behavior myself, as a reaction, and today i am praying for the ability to detach and engage in my own peculiar brand of insanity. so it goes.
and of course i know i am projecting events based on my previous experience, as is the nature of my current obsession. what i am trying to do now, as a part of this brain dump, is to admit my powerlessness over their behavior and take responsibility for my own. i really detest when i move into being judgmental, and as a result, i do something that allows me to change how i feel. yes i know, yet another manifestation of active addiction in my life. YARGHH!
so as i possibly come to the end of this particular ditty, i feel a bit of power flowing into me from the SOURCE of my recovery. recognizing that i am the problem, accepting that i do not have to let my buttons be pushed, and letting go of what may or may not happen, seems to be the best route for me to take this morning. life is far too short for me to give away so much of what little power i have been given.
it is a good day to be in recovery, and regardless of the events up to now, i have no desire to use, and actually i do not need to go shopping or have a huge chocolate something to change how i feel, after all, these feelings. like all others will pass, if i allow them to run their course. which i do believe i will decide to do so, right here and right now!
so off to the next task of my busy and full day.
and of course i know i am projecting events based on my previous experience, as is the nature of my current obsession. what i am trying to do now, as a part of this brain dump, is to admit my powerlessness over their behavior and take responsibility for my own. i really detest when i move into being judgmental, and as a result, i do something that allows me to change how i feel. yes i know, yet another manifestation of active addiction in my life. YARGHH!
so as i possibly come to the end of this particular ditty, i feel a bit of power flowing into me from the SOURCE of my recovery. recognizing that i am the problem, accepting that i do not have to let my buttons be pushed, and letting go of what may or may not happen, seems to be the best route for me to take this morning. life is far too short for me to give away so much of what little power i have been given.
it is a good day to be in recovery, and regardless of the events up to now, i have no desire to use, and actually i do not need to go shopping or have a huge chocolate something to change how i feel, after all, these feelings. like all others will pass, if i allow them to run their course. which i do believe i will decide to do so, right here and right now!
so off to the next task of my busy and full day.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
↔ forgiving others -- forgiving myself ↔ 314 words ➥ Monday, January 17, 2005 by: donnotα the worthiness of forgiveness ω 516 words ➥ Tuesday, January 17, 2006 by: donnot
μ in my recovery, i may still have a tendency to pass judgment on the actions of others μ 391 words ➥ Wednesday, January 17, 2007 by: donnot
δ but as i progress in my recovery i often find that, to accept myself, i must accept those around me. Δ 483 words ➥ Thursday, January 17, 2008 by: donnot
¬ while in active addiction, and sometimes even in recovery ¬ 484 words ➥ Sunday, January 17, 2010 by: donnot
‰ at least i know that i am no longer intentionally making life miserable for people ‰ 724 words ➥ Monday, January 17, 2011 by: donnot
♣ i will strive to forgive rather than be forgiven ♣ 594 words ➥ Tuesday, January 17, 2012 by: donnot
∈ as i realize my need to be forgiven, ∋ 517 words ➥ Thursday, January 17, 2013 by: donnot
≈ if i detach myself from the problem ≈ 685 words ➥ Friday, January 17, 2014 by: donnot
⊆ IF i feel affected by actions of someone else, ⊇ 428 words ➥ Saturday, January 17, 2015 by: donnot
✽ forgiveness ✽ 855 words ➥ Sunday, January 17, 2016 by: donnot
❪ forgive rather ❫ 794 words ➥ Tuesday, January 17, 2017 by: donnot
😵 acting in a way 😮 651 words ➥ Wednesday, January 17, 2018 by: donnot
🌀 watching as 🌂 492 words ➥ Thursday, January 17, 2019 by: donnot
🌠 feeling worthy 🌠 496 words ➥ Friday, January 17, 2020 by: donnot
👮 as the insanity 💩 487 words ➥ Monday, January 17, 2022 by: donnot
😧 intentionally 😶 541 words ➥ Tuesday, January 17, 2023 by: donnot
🏳 surrendering to change 🏳 420 words ➥ Wednesday, January 17, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
3) Hence he who (relies on) the strength of his forces does not conquer;
and a tree which is strong will fill the out-stretched arms, (and
thereby invites the feller.)