Some memes

circumstances, who is looking, or what is convenient, i will practice integrity today. it has been a morning of surprises and choice rather than reactions, as a matter of fact as i look back over my day up to now, i am more than a bit pleased that something shifted today. i was cut-off in traffic twice on my way to my home group, the first time i laid on the horn, a reaction that changed nothing, but certainly made me feel better. the second time i was cut-off and they came to a complete stop, causing me to panic brake, a good reaction and one that certainly got my heartbeat going, in the first instance i was not angry or pissed off, in fact i never even shot him a nasty look. in the second, i just closed my eye, took a deep breath and waited for the light to change. she kept peeking at me in her rear view mirror and i did not flip her off, or rant or rave. yes, i decided in both case almost instantaneously, to allow myself the freedom to be okay and let them go along on their merry way, without creating a story or judgement. a huge victory for me.
this sort of behavior is new to me and i even “suffered” one of my peers rambling share never feeling safe. wah, wah, wah. his overlong share certainly made me want to leave the room and take a breath, but i sat through it and allowed myself the freedom not to judge in real-time. the judgement came later. yes, that is a violation of what i am trying to achieve these days and the rationalization i can throw, is at least i did it on my drive home. that does not excuse me and as much as i want to “blame” for his toolish, nonsense share i have to give him a break, because i really do not know what he is all about these days and in all honesty for my serenity and piece of mind that is a very good thing. anyhow it is a good day to be clean and time to get ready to go to work.

∞ DT ∞