Blog entry for:

... that i am as powerless over the addiction of another person as i am over my own. there are limits to what i can do to help another addict. boy does this resonate within in me this morning. it certainly applies on many levels, but this morning what i heard when i sat quietly after reading this passage was **D’OH**. here i sit, just past the climax of my last growth spurt and i finally get it. this not only applies to those who are walking into the rooms for the first, second or even third go around at this recovery gig, it also applies to those who have never left and have lots of time clean. if they are not listening they are not listening, and for my sanity it is better just to let go and move on. so now the task at hand, is to integrate this reality into my life so that i can move forward.. no answer means no answer. i can assume i know, i can project my expectation on to them or i can simple deal with the fact that my request went somewhere and if or when i hear back, i will deal with it then and stop trying to plan for that day.
sounds so simple, and if i take this reading to heart, then what i NEED to do, is once again surrender my will and my life into the care of that POWER that keeps me clean, and quietly listen for the will of that POWER for me today. what i am not hearing is drive down to… or pick-up the phone and… or even shoot off another cyber-missive. no what i am hearing is let go, things cannot be what i want them to be, at least right now. keep the FAITH that things will turn out as they NEED to be, in the short and long run, with or without me obsessing about them.
what i also heard this morning, is that it is not my job to get those who i love to do their recovery work, or even give this gig a try. no what i heard is that i need to let go of outcomes, and painful and cold as it sounds. let those i love continue to do what they are doing, regardless of whether or not i approve, and provide them the hand, if and when they ask for it.
so anyhow, the time has come to hit the streets and see if i can get my head a bit more less cluttered. it is a good day to remember exactly how powerless i am, and what my part is in that/ my part? to realize that i have access to a POWER, that will provide for my NEEDS today, all i have to do is let that POWER do its thing. and i think i will.

∞ DT ∞