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message, not the addict. time and again, this has been a powerful and painful reminder about how i cannot help any addict who refuses to look beyond their next fix of something. i have three friends who are out about, and at one time or another i was their sponsor. as much as i would love to grab them by their short-hairs and super glue them to the chairs in the rooms, until they stick, i know that is a wasted and futile effort. my best bet is to walk away, feel the pain and let them come to their own decisions, even though in my opinion they are certainly fVcked in the head, all three of them!
moving along, as i have exhausted this topic, at least for right now, i heard one of the most interesting statements from one of my peers last night in a meeting. basically they said that they manufactured their feelings in their head, and that if they controlled their thinking, they could control their feelings. for me, that feels so wrong. it would be nice if i could think my way into feeling better. if i had that ability, i could go on TV, in a thirty minute infomercial and make my millions by teaching others how to think their way into feeling better. no more need for psycho-active medications, because with my method, one could think their way out of depression and all its attendant variants, in just a few simple lessons.
i am not, however, holding my peer up to ridicule, as i have been known to misinterpret what others say, i am reporting what i heard, which is often not what was actually said. i have a different take on the whole feelings gig, and for me, mine works. i feel that, feelings are my emotional reaction to the world around me. it is what i do with those feelings that i am powerless over, that makes all the difference, and where my thinking and will comes into play.
i feel hopeless when i see the mess my friends are making in their lives. i feel sad, when they continue to do what they always did, for whatever reason and i feel powerless when they ignore my attempts to reach out and invite them back to the fold. what i do with those feelings, that are the reaction to this situation, is allow myself to feel them, and let them go. i need not worry, fret or try to change my friends, nor my feelings into something they are not, at least not right here and right now.
my peer? well they can think what they need to, and even when i do not agree with something i may or may not have heard correctly, i know that i can feel my feelings, feel the HOP{E that even the most recalcitrant of my friends has a chance a better way of life, and get rolling down the road to work. it is after all a great day to live a program of active recovery.

∞ DT ∞