Blog entry for:
Sat, Feb 17, 2007 06:59:37 AM
¡ i cannot jump inside the skin of another person, ¡
posted: Sat, Feb 17, 2007 06:59:37 AM
shift their goals, or decide for them what is best for them.
as much as i may wish to, after all i do know what gifts recovery has to offer and what i needed to do to get the opportunity to accept or reject those gifts. bottom line -- the biggest gift that recovery has to offer, at least for this addict is the removal of the NEED to use every single day of my life -- and that is the only gift i want another addict to have the chance to get.
one of the character traits i walked into recovery is, that i think that i KNOW what is best for everyone i happen to run across in the course of everyday life, including ME! i am slowly coming to the realization that i do not actually have a clue what someone NEEDS to do, especially me! the reading however focuses on the fact that i am as powerless over the addiction of another as i am over my own. what i get out of this particular ditty this morning is not the fact that i cannot stop an addict from using, boy oh boy do i understand that an addict will use until the second they are done. that concept i have down pat. no what i get is that once an addict stops using and chooses to be part of my life, i cannot get them to start healthy behaviors, set realistic goals, or do what it takes to achieve those goals. they may ask for my opinion and i may give it to them BUT after that i NEED to let go of the results. it is not a waste of my time and energy to respond to such requests by offering my opinion after being asked for it. it is a waste of my time, energy and sanity to fret and fume over whether or not they have chosen to do anything with my opinion. such behavior on my part is no different than fretting and fuming over whether someone will stop using or not, after all this disease still is active in me, i still behave in a manner that is inconsistent with my values and the spiritual principles that i espouse, so why should i expect anyone to be any different than that?
so just for today, i will offer the best opinion and advice that i can offer based solely on my experience, strength and hope, when i am asked for it. but most of all i will do my best to let go of my expectations and leave the results in the much more capable hands of my HIGHER POWER -- simply easy -- n’est-ce pas?
as much as i may wish to, after all i do know what gifts recovery has to offer and what i needed to do to get the opportunity to accept or reject those gifts. bottom line -- the biggest gift that recovery has to offer, at least for this addict is the removal of the NEED to use every single day of my life -- and that is the only gift i want another addict to have the chance to get.
one of the character traits i walked into recovery is, that i think that i KNOW what is best for everyone i happen to run across in the course of everyday life, including ME! i am slowly coming to the realization that i do not actually have a clue what someone NEEDS to do, especially me! the reading however focuses on the fact that i am as powerless over the addiction of another as i am over my own. what i get out of this particular ditty this morning is not the fact that i cannot stop an addict from using, boy oh boy do i understand that an addict will use until the second they are done. that concept i have down pat. no what i get is that once an addict stops using and chooses to be part of my life, i cannot get them to start healthy behaviors, set realistic goals, or do what it takes to achieve those goals. they may ask for my opinion and i may give it to them BUT after that i NEED to let go of the results. it is not a waste of my time and energy to respond to such requests by offering my opinion after being asked for it. it is a waste of my time, energy and sanity to fret and fume over whether or not they have chosen to do anything with my opinion. such behavior on my part is no different than fretting and fuming over whether someone will stop using or not, after all this disease still is active in me, i still behave in a manner that is inconsistent with my values and the spiritual principles that i espouse, so why should i expect anyone to be any different than that?
so just for today, i will offer the best opinion and advice that i can offer based solely on my experience, strength and hope, when i am asked for it. but most of all i will do my best to let go of my expectations and leave the results in the much more capable hands of my HIGHER POWER -- simply easy -- n’est-ce pas?
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
↔ carry the message, not the addict ↔ 242 words ➥ Thursday, February 17, 2005 by: donnot↔ i did not stop until i wanted to stop ↔ 385 words ➥ Friday, February 17, 2006 by: donnot
α i may think that because i have had a spiritual awakening in my own life ω 642 words ➥ Sunday, February 17, 2008 by: donnot
∞ perhaps one of the most difficult truths i must face in my recovery is … 503 words ➥ Tuesday, February 17, 2009 by: donnot
¿ can i give another addict the results of the steps or grow for them ¿ 555 words ➥ Wednesday, February 17, 2010 by: donnot
⊥ i was analyzed, counseled, reasoned with, prayed over, threatened, ⊥ 593 words ➥ Thursday, February 17, 2011 by: donnot
$ i can accept that i am powerless over addiction: $ 437 words ➥ Friday, February 17, 2012 by: donnot
≈ BUT, ≈ 520 words ➥ Sunday, February 17, 2013 by: donnot
‡ however, if i refuse to try to exert power ‡ 705 words ➥ Monday, February 17, 2014 by: donnot
— others can become the authority — 715 words ➥ Tuesday, February 17, 2015 by: donnot
ⅈ carrying the ⅈ 529 words ➥ Wednesday, February 17, 2016 by: donnot
☑ limits to ☒ 619 words ➥ Friday, February 17, 2017 by: donnot
🍂 but an addict 🌾 493 words ➥ Saturday, February 17, 2018 by: donnot
😕 carrying the addict, 😣 638 words ➥ Sunday, February 17, 2019 by: donnot
🚪 analyzed, counseled, 🚽 472 words ➥ Monday, February 17, 2020 by: donnot
¿ should i be able to 🙊 403 words ➥ Wednesday, February 17, 2021 by: donnot
🗣 the trope: 🗫 587 words ➥ Thursday, February 17, 2022 by: donnot
🥺 powerless 🤨 662 words ➥ Friday, February 17, 2023 by: donnot
🤨 open - mindedness 🤯 445 words ➥ Saturday, February 17, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
3) Thus it is that a great state, by condescending to small states,
gains them for itself; and that small states, by abasing themselves
to a great state, win it over to them. In the one case the abasement
leads to gaining adherents, in the other case to procuring favour.