Blog entry for:

mine and that of EVERYONE ELSE*S. that does not mean that i need to stop caring about them. eight days ago, the sponse told me that exact same thing, in those exact same words, after i told him what had happened and asked for his guidance about how to correct my mess. although my feelings were valid, and although i was right to voice my concerns and let someone know HOW is was feeling, what was wrong was my motivation and how i did it. and so it goes…
i know that no one can tell me anything UNTIL i am good and ready to listen. no one can grow for me, work my steps or walk my path of recovery, and yet, from time to time, i think i can do so for others. the reading this morning is a great reminder that where my power truly exists and where i only fool myself into thinking i have any power. sure i have not received a letter from that sponsee, and even so, i will have to send one off to him. cleaning up my side of the street, and moving on with my life, whether or not he chooses to recover or even stay clean. i know him well enough that it is everyone else''s fault, including mine, that the hammer came down on him so hard, and the further he slides into that blame game, the more he comes to believe the lies he tells himself. i know this, because the two of us are more than a bit similar in this respect.the lies i tell myself about what power i think i may or my not have, is what cause me the greatest misery in my life.
anyhow, i am out of material as i allowed myself to get interrupted by someone commenting on my FB post. ironically, what i put there was to provide some hope to those who are outside the mainstream of religious beliefs, and someone who is not felt that they needed to use it as an opportunity to proselytize. once again, a lesson in power, who has it and who does not. my reaction, delete the original post and create a new one! ¡what a mature, sane and rational reaction! NOT.
well off to the showers and into this day, remembering that when it comes to addiction, my real power is nonexistent and that i DO have to rely on the POWER that fuels my recovery, to stay clean today.

∞ DT ∞