Blog entry for:

Wed, Jun 24, 2009 07:29:12 AM


μ It becomes easier to accept the frailties of others when i remember that …
posted: Wed, Jun 24, 2009 07:29:12 AM

 

i myself rarely turn over my own character defects until i become painfully aware of them.
well, i changed the thought, because what i am needing to have tolerance about is not other members today, no it is my family members that i am needing to be tolerant about. their defects are more than obvious to me, and they are as blind to their sh!t, as i can be to mine. it is funny i have two dads here and a mom who is just beside herself on an emotional roller coaster, lubricated by her "one glass of wine." of course, as i waltz through the catalog of slights, imagined or real, i get to kick it down with being a martyr, after all, can’t they see how far i have come. the honest truth is that they may see, but do not understand, and when i drop back into those old comfortable character defects, their old impressions are reflections of my current behavior. i could really use a meeting and unfortunately that may not be possible without driving 90 minutes this evening. ironically, when i was a kid, in the very early days of addiction i made that same drive to score alcohol, as this was a dry county way back then, so perhaps i will do the same this evening. i know there is always the alternative of another fellowship, but is convenience really an altar that i should get down and prostrate myself before? it is not that the idea of using has reached an obsession about, but i do want to escape the pressures of dealing with those whom i love the most. i want to escape the pressures of fulfilling roles that i have long moved away from, and yet i could cave, play the games they ALL KNOW and make amends later. however the amends i will need to make is to me, and hurting myself is not what i am about these days.
but back to topic, i am getting quite a few lessons in tolerance and i will am certain that the lessons will continue to come fast and furious as the days continue.
so what i am hearing from with and without me today, is be present for myself, my family and life in general and do what i need to do. as the day continues, make my plans to go where i need to go and do what i need to do, which just may be a road trip to sustain my recovery, but is certainly a day trip with my loved ones and then come back to work!
so off to the showers and into my day.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

feet of clay 338 words ➥ Thursday, June 24, 2004 by: donnot
μ tolerance -> acceptance μ 238 words ➥ Friday, June 24, 2005 by: donnot
↔ i have found tolerance to be a principle ... ↔ 213 words ➥ Saturday, June 24, 2006 by: donnot
∞ i have found tolerance to be a principle that not only strengthens my own recovery ∞ 382 words ➥ Sunday, June 24, 2007 by: donnot
∞ sometimes it is hard to accept the character defects of others. ∞ 422 words ➥ Tuesday, June 24, 2008 by: donnot
≈ as i become aware of how the members around me live their lives ≈ 597 words ➥ Thursday, June 24, 2010 by: donnot
“ if i worked THEIR program, i would surely use! ” 986 words ➥ Friday, June 24, 2011 by: donnot
⊥ as i recover with my fellow members, i not only listen ⊥ 543 words ➥ Sunday, June 24, 2012 by: donnot
∩ i will strive to accept others as they are ∩ 969 words ➥ Monday, June 24, 2013 by: donnot
∑ ever reminding me, ∑ 789 words ➥ Tuesday, June 24, 2014 by: donnot
⁄ i will strive to ⁄ 688 words ➥ Wednesday, June 24, 2015 by: donnot
🎯 tolerance 🎯 651 words ➥ Friday, June 24, 2016 by: donnot
🌦 watching how 🌤 639 words ➥ Saturday, June 24, 2017 by: donnot
🚶 walking through 🚶 438 words ➥ Sunday, June 24, 2018 by: donnot
🍼 what certain members 🍼 535 words ➥ Monday, June 24, 2019 by: donnot
🌬 accepting others 🌫 592 words ➥ Wednesday, June 24, 2020 by: donnot
🤡 how they 🤫 370 words ➥ Thursday, June 24, 2021 by: donnot
🤔 trying not to 🤐 603 words ➥ Friday, June 24, 2022 by: donnot
😌 awareness 😌 140 words ➥ Saturday, June 24, 2023 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

1) Sincere words are not fine; fine words are not sincere. Those who
are skilled (in the Tao) do not dispute (about it); the disputatious
are not skilled in it. Those who know (the Tao) are not extensively
learned; the extensively learned do not know it.