Some memes

as they are, is certainly something i can strive to be better at doing. having lived through decades of active addiction and decades of active recovery, i have very strong opinions. those opinions often feed my prejudices and biases, coloring my view of those who walk this path with me, in a very dismal light. i do not consider myself a **snowflake** of any political stripe and often find myself wondering where some of those i encounter in my daily journey through life, got the notion that they are entitled to anything, much less the right to flaunt the precautions to limit the spread of COVID-19. it is interesting to me that the very ones who seem to be screaming about their rights being trampled by wearing a mask are the very ones who scream about a woman'\'s reproductive choices and work diligently to limit those choices. a bit of intolerance, showing through my sometimes perfect façade. i could go on and on, this morning however, i think i have made my point. when i fall back on what i think is “right” i can often be wrong.
bringing my focus back to my peers in the rooms, it would be so nice to say that no matter what they believe and what they share, i accept them for who they are and more importantly do not cast them into an image of what they are not. my journey to finding a spiritual path that fits me, began with m,y increasing intolerance of what i mistakenly saw as religion, in my early days of recovery. i so wrongly believed that many of my peers were incapable of thinking for themselves, that they just latched on to the easiest, predigested version of spirituality that was already available. as i grew in my recovery and could no longer fit this round peg in a square hole, i came to see my views of their spiritual path, as simply wrong. no matter how they arrived where they were, their view is as valid as my own, after all, not everyone needs to take fifteen years to find what works for them. my judgement was based in envy, as they had what i wanted and could not seem to find, a spiritual path that fit them.
there are many other examples where my intolerance boils down to greed, envy, jealousy and other less than stellar feelings, behaviors and attitudes. these days, when i stub my toe on a bit of judgemental intolerance i GET the opportunity to examine why i think someone is wrong. sometimes, it is those old bugaboos coming back to haunt me. sometimes it is a political or philosophical disagreement. most of the time, it is because what they said or how they behave, challenges my notions of “right and wrong.” when my values are challenged, i get defensive, that just is how i am and i am not falling back on that as an excuse. it then becomes my job to see what it is that is being “threatened” and why i am reacting to that threat, rather than responding to it.
as i march out into this day, perhaps i can be a bit less harsh in judging those i encounter, in my daily life, in meetings and in my recovery world. certainly a worthy goal and one that is more than quantifiable, based on how i feel, across the course of this day.

∞ DT ∞