โ slowly, the recognition and identification i find in the fellowship โ
Posted: Mon, Nov 16, 2009 09:05:57 AM
bridges the lonely gap of alienation in my heart. okay i have up and working for over 90 minutes, and i still feel like i have accomplished very little, although now that i take a break and look at it, the amount of stuff i have done, is not that shabby. i have a chance to write this now, as it is too cold and too slick to go out for a trot, and it is a "snow" impact day for my exercise routine.
the topic of the reading today is certainly a good one for me, as i have felt myself drifting away from the fellowship that has provided this new manner of living. it is so easy to forget how isolated i was when i came to recovery. after all, now i have a life full of friends, peers, family members and acquaintances. i forget how empty my life was, now that i have a calender that is full of activities every day this week. i forget how meaningless my existence was, now that i have a career that i love. in short i just plain forget. as i accumulate more days under my belt, and get further and further from that lonely, empty life, i find myself drifting away from the fellowship in general. as i may actually get to finish my 12th step tomorrow night, i am beginning to think that my next set of steps might be on my relationship with the very fellowship that has provided me the life i have today. it is quite interesting that as i write this, i am also corresponding with two addicts about similar but related issues. one wants me to write a letter of support to a board, to help a friend get a place in the halfway house, the other wants me to cosign his creation of a policy that would discriminate and violate the traditions that keep our fellowship alive and kicking. both threads go directly to this point, i am no longer an alien, i am no longer isolated, i have become a respected member of the fellowship that brought me out of isolation and continues to feed the need in me to practice active recovery.
so on that thought, i will go hit the basement and do my snow-impact workout.
the topic of the reading today is certainly a good one for me, as i have felt myself drifting away from the fellowship that has provided this new manner of living. it is so easy to forget how isolated i was when i came to recovery. after all, now i have a life full of friends, peers, family members and acquaintances. i forget how empty my life was, now that i have a calender that is full of activities every day this week. i forget how meaningless my existence was, now that i have a career that i love. in short i just plain forget. as i accumulate more days under my belt, and get further and further from that lonely, empty life, i find myself drifting away from the fellowship in general. as i may actually get to finish my 12th step tomorrow night, i am beginning to think that my next set of steps might be on my relationship with the very fellowship that has provided me the life i have today. it is quite interesting that as i write this, i am also corresponding with two addicts about similar but related issues. one wants me to write a letter of support to a board, to help a friend get a place in the halfway house, the other wants me to cosign his creation of a policy that would discriminate and violate the traditions that keep our fellowship alive and kicking. both threads go directly to this point, i am no longer an alien, i am no longer isolated, i have become a respected member of the fellowship that brought me out of isolation and continues to feed the need in me to practice active recovery.
so on that thought, i will go hit the basement and do my snow-impact workout.
∞ DT ∞