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it is my turn to be there and help show the newcomer that this way of life works. unity, uniformity, compliance, compromise, spiritual, practical? all of this is confusing, even after some time clean, at least for this addict. i have been in the power groups before, trying to bend the group to fit my will, i actually succeeded at doing so for a bit of time. i believed that i was doing good in doing so, and the fact that the group survived is a credit to the strength of the fellowship.
without a doubt i have ideas, and as one of my friends likes to tell me, i can be as pushy as she is. there are days when i take that as an insult, and days that i take that as a compliment, today, i take it as an observation of my true nature and wonder if it is an attribute or a defect. just by exploring that issue allows me to be free from acting automatically based on an emotional response to life. it is those knee-jerk reactions of mine, that are the enemy of unity. my considered reaction, which many times ids quite similar, is an ally of unity, and is the more spiritual path for me.
i do need to check-in before continuing this morning. i slept very well last night, so what that tells me, is that i have let go of an outcome of a decision i am making about the convention. i have made my choice, after listening to all sides of quite a rowdy and boisterous discussion the other night. i liked that rowdiness, as it seemed to allow everyone to express their opinions freely and allowed me to hear stuff that i really did not want to hear. i wanted to hear opinions that were exactly aligned with mine, and what i heard was a variety of opinions expressing many excellent points of views and possibilities. today, thanks to that process, i am confident in moving forward and i believe i have a group of addicts dedicated to fixing the defects of the proposal as it sits right now, with our hard work and dedication. it is more than a little ironic that a control phreak like me, can let go and allow the group conscience process to work, and that ironic little miracle is part of growing up in the program and becoming more than i ever was before.
so anyhow i have an errand to run, i have a tour of the neighborhood to take with my dawg, and i have one unfinished project on my desk. so i need to sign-off and get into the day at hand. it is a good day for me to let go of what i cannot control and have the FAITH that everything will be exactly as it needs to be.

∞ DT ∞