Some memes

between personal responsibility and willful control can be a challenge. i had to change that line, because to use it as it was, would have been a huge dose of false humility. on most days for the majority of the period i am awake and moving through the world, i understand the difference between taking responsibility and taking control. i have been clean long enough and actually have lived through enough step cycles where i can see that the line between responsibility and control is or is not. yay for me. what i heard however as i sat this morning was not about what is or is not, but a peek at where taking control still seems like a good idea.
a case in point is my current dental issues. i abdicated my responsibility to advocate for myself and now i will more than likely be getting two more teeth extracted after the first three extractions heal. i will not want those last two done, until i there is at least a temporary solution to the hole in my mouth and for that to happen i will need to take control of my dental hygiene. which means being responsible for keeping my mouth as clean as possible and not letting food sit in my broken tooth for very long. i call it control, because my desist will want to yank that bad tooth and i am not willing to live for weeks on ens eating with just my front teeth. as a result, control and responsibility are entwined here and quite inseparable.
a second case in point work. for the most part i talk and interact with my customers quite freely and with little reserve. there are some however, who have lied to me and who have spouted off violent and racist remarks, with little regard as to what i may think. there are some that believe they are entitled to what they are not because they are one of the “best” customers. i could debate that fact with them as well, as they do not actually make the top 10 in sales or spending. i, however, take responsibility for how i respond and what i say. most of the time i just say nothing and amazingly they are starting to get a clue. i treat them professionally and i certainly hope they never ask why it goes no further. this will turn into a do not ask me what i think of you, you might not like the answer i give to you., sort of situation. the fact that i have to consider that they feel an artificial closeness to me and i am not about to correct their misguided judgement. just because i work where i work does not mean i think what they think.
control or responsibility, yes the line is thin and constantly shifting. even with that fact, it does not mean that i cannot see it, if i am present and CHOOSE to look for it. i think, just for today, i will allow my better self to navigate through this day and leave the results yup to the what will be.

∞ DT ∞