โ the empathy of recovery gives me a clean, clear window โ
Posted: Fri, Apr 25, 2014 08:02:24 AM
through which to view, experience, and appreciate reality as it is. reality is for suckers and those who cannot handle drugs. yes i can see the extreme irony in that statement, especially for one such as me, an addict without a clue, at least way back when. my point being, that once upon a time, there was denial, there was derision and there was certainly enough manipulation of reality that to say the least, i was confused.
today? well i like to think i can live in the real world. i certainly lack the desire to use substances to escape the world, and you know what, a lot of getting high was just that, a vacation from reality. i am not saying that my life was so heinous and onerous that i NEEDED to escape, but i certainly had the strong desire to escape, each and every day, into a place that was fuzzy and yes in some sense quite warm and comforting. too bad, all of that never lasted beyond the twenty minutes of a real good dose. there are certainly times today, where a quick dip back into the chemically induced spiritual coma of using, may appear to be a good idea, and perhaps, if i was a member of the other 85%, i could do so. on the other hand, if i was a member of that other 85%, i would not think, that would be such a good idea.
anyhow, this is just a quickie this morning, as i need to get rolling out, into the real world after all. life in reality? well it is just that, life in reality, one day at a time, and today is a day that i need to get to work.
today? well i like to think i can live in the real world. i certainly lack the desire to use substances to escape the world, and you know what, a lot of getting high was just that, a vacation from reality. i am not saying that my life was so heinous and onerous that i NEEDED to escape, but i certainly had the strong desire to escape, each and every day, into a place that was fuzzy and yes in some sense quite warm and comforting. too bad, all of that never lasted beyond the twenty minutes of a real good dose. there are certainly times today, where a quick dip back into the chemically induced spiritual coma of using, may appear to be a good idea, and perhaps, if i was a member of the other 85%, i could do so. on the other hand, if i was a member of that other 85%, i would not think, that would be such a good idea.
anyhow, this is just a quickie this morning, as i need to get rolling out, into the real world after all. life in reality? well it is just that, life in reality, one day at a time, and today is a day that i need to get to work.
∞ DT ∞