Blog entry for:

Mon, Dec 1, 2014 07:41:00 AM


— a fabulous new car, straight As, a triple salary raise —
posted: Mon, Dec 1, 2014 07:41:00 AM

 

all mine without effort, just for the asking. here is without a doubt, one of the strangest places i have ever been. a long, long time ago, for a period of time that felt like forever, this was my life. running around, willy-nilly, praying for this and that without any regard of what i would do if i actually got anything i was praying for. a case in point is a story i like to tell:
i once prayed for a relationship -- i was thinking as in the romantic sense, but i prayed for a relationship <BOOM> in less than three days i had a sponsee. so i said hmm, maybe i need to be a bit more specific, so i prayed for a relationship with someone who could love me unconditionally, and i ended up with a dog. not that my first sponsee, or Odin were bad consequences of my prayers, they both were certainly unexpected and back then, in my very Abrahamic view of the spiritual world, i took the lesson to mean that GOD, like genies, were very literal in making wishes come true.
well “Santa” GOD, has come and gone, and as i sit here in the first phases of STEP ELEVEN, i am wondering just how do i get knowledge of the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery, when it is outside of my spiritual landscape. listening is no problem, meditation certainly does fill that requirement, but the asking part is where i am stumbling all over. how does one approach something like that, and remain true to oneself? how does one, reconcile desire with need? how does one detach from results, while asking for knowledge of which way the wind happens to be blowing?
i could go on and on and on, but i am fairly certain you get the point, namely: based on my current spiritual view, i need to reconcile the very WESTERN notions, presented in the fellowship that has given me this new way of life, with the very EASTERN that i have developed, and figure out how to come out of the other side sane, whole and still a member of the no matter what club. of course, the easier, softer way still exists. all i have to is conform to the norm, let go of any critical thinking around the nature of GOD and ITs relationship with me, and then everything i am dealing with today, becomes moot.
it really boils down to be being true to myself and stumbling around in the dark, or denying what i feel, but rest securely in the spiritual construct of the majority of my peers.today? well just for today, i do believe i will be true to myself and allow myself to focus on the journey to an understanding of something beyond explanation anyhow.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

praying for anything···  242 words ➥ Wednesday, December 1, 2004 by: donnot
α whose will is it anyway? ω 376 words ➥ Thursday, December 1, 2005 by: donnot
∞ when i talk to God, i need to remember that i live in the real world. ∞ 415 words ➥ Friday, December 1, 2006 by: donnot
∞ imagine what might happen if God gave me everything i wanted. ∞ 375 words ➥ Saturday, December 1, 2007 by: donnot
∞ confining my prayers to requests for knowledge of the will of my HIGHER POWER … 283 words ➥ Monday, December 1, 2008 by: donnot
≅ i earn rewards and learn to handle them as i do ≅ 526 words ➥ Tuesday, December 1, 2009 by: donnot
ϖ i begin to pray only for the will of a HIGHER POWER for me ϖ 555 words ➥ Wednesday, December 1, 2010 by: donnot
⇔ i will pray only for knowledge of the will of the POWER ⇔ 629 words ➥ Thursday, December 1, 2011 by: donnot
√ praying only for knowledge, the power to carry it out, and the ability to √ 296 words ➥ Saturday, December 1, 2012 by: donnot
⊥ i earn rewards and learn to handle them as i do ⊥ 518 words ➥ Sunday, December 1, 2013 by: donnot
¿ life*s rewards ? 661 words ➥ Tuesday, December 1, 2015 by: donnot
⇗ my ability ⇖ 773 words ➥ Thursday, December 1, 2016 by: donnot
🙾 no more 🙿 587 words ➥ Friday, December 1, 2017 by: donnot
🙄 learning to handle 🙄 439 words ➥ Saturday, December 1, 2018 by: donnot
🛑 no more 🚫 569 words ➥ Sunday, December 1, 2019 by: donnot
🎉 living in 🎉 443 words ➥ Tuesday, December 1, 2020 by: donnot
👌 my ability 👌 518 words ➥ Wednesday, December 1, 2021 by: donnot
🤕 the ability 🤕 619 words ➥ Thursday, December 1, 2022 by: donnot
💓 unconditional love 💓 476 words ➥ Friday, December 1, 2023 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

2) There is an originating and all-comprehending (principle) in my
words, and an authoritative law for the things (which I enforce).
It is because they do not know these, that men do not know me.