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of my peers, are often overwhelming to me, as i attempt to figure out those of my peers, while leaving mine, unexamined. a case in point has been my behaviors over the past month that demonstrated severe disrespect and bullying of another member. as i finally turned a critical eye to what was going on inside of me, it led to a decision to leave an area of service that has been my passion for years on end.the events that drove me to take a look at where i was, are no one else's fault, and if they decide to take it on, that is not my stuff. i have lived far too long in a world where everything was the fault of someone or something else, and that is no longer acceptable to me. whether is was correct or not, is irrelevant here and that is a battle for someone else to wage. for my spiritual sanity, i needed to move on, as i had taken far too much ownership of what was never mine.
here is where i would normally slide a snide remark questioning the integrity of one of my peers. the fact that i own my desire to do so, shows a bit of spiritual growth. the fact of the matter is, i was questioning their motives from the very start and was put-off by how things played out. that is my stuff and because of that, it was better to walk away and passionately serve in another manner. i have to trust that they are as circumspect as i am if they are asked about the whys, hows and wherefores of my decision. it is a good thing for me, that i know who is to blame and who has to take the actions i need to take to return to sanity.
with that on the top of my mind, i think i will go get a workout under my belt. worrying about what others may say or think of me today, is really an exercise in futility. i want the respect of my peers and to earn that respect i am the one who has to behave better. i would never, however, tell one of my peers to stop being a “dick” but i would certainly suggest that maybe they need to dial it back more than a little bit. oops, i got that sideways dig in, after all. 🤫

∞ DT ∞