Blog entry for:

may seem to be an extreme thought to have. the so-called monster inside of me, was the avalanche of feelings, resentments and lies that i had stuffed for decades on end. as that monster is released during the FOURTH and FIFTH Step process, i become better able to live in the world around me. as i stay clean and live a program of recovery, releasing my feelings happens in real-time and i am better at detecting the lies i tell myself, before i repeat them enough to become my “truths.”
as i write this brief entry, before i start my drive home, i have to acknowledge that i am glad i made this trip and feel like this is exactly where i needed to be this weekend. yes, it is a shit-ton of driving and yes i do not have my book club book finished, BUT and yes it is a huge one,i GOT to be here with my family and make up for some of those years when i could not bring myself to be a part of this family. i feel a bit sad leaving this morning, but i know i did what was important to me, just showing up. i have lots of time to consider what happened and put it all into perspective, as i have seven hundred and fifty miles or so, to drive today. it is a good day to be clean and a great day to own that i have a family that loves me and is doing the best they can with what they have.

∞ DT ∞