Some memes

time i still find that i may have a tendency to think in extremes: all or nothing, right or wrong. finding the balance is an ongoing negotiation. i have been trying to talk myself out of writing, as i was tapped to share at my home group, this morning. randomly opening a recent piece of literature to pull a topic, on which i could share, i ended up with exercise and connection to my physical self, as the root of what i gave to my peers.as one may surmise from my frequent mentioning of my activities in this exercise, i smoke cigars, drink coffee and run or walk briskly, on a daily basis. on any given day, a departure from any or all of those activities, may make me less than pleasant to be around, although the cigars are generally an optional part of any given day. that triad is a balance between my physical self and my emotional self, as all of those foster a sense of wellness for me.
i wake up in the morning and ask for the power to stay clean, i meditate and at the end of my day, take inventory of what happened. that is part of my routine and just as running is part of being connected and balanced with my physical self, so these activities permit the balance of my spiritual self. it is my emotional and mental self., where i struggle with balance as is evident in my current round of steps. i either suck at everything in the realm, or have it all down pat. i never seem to be able to settle in on just being okay, and that, my friends, is annoying as fuck. what i am going to do, however, is let it go and allow myself a bit more freedom to just play my game, enjoy a cigar and a nice ice coffee, this afternoon. often times, that is all this addict needs to do, to find the answers he seeks: surrender, listen and feel my way to the solution that seems to elude me, when i try too hard.

∞ DT ∞