๐ฑ growth results ๐ฑ
Posted: Mon, Aug 4, 2025 10:55:04 AM
from keeping my mind open. i really hate to admit it, but i did not come to recovery with anything close to an open mind, especially when it came to anything that vaguely resembled, religion, dogma or cult-like activity. one can guess the result of that state of being: resistance, rebellion and rage at having to be in these “classes.” perhaps hat is why i never had a “pink cloud,” or was “struck clean.” in those dark days of mere abstinence, when i was hanging on for dear life to stay clean long enough to get off paper, i often wondered if i was “too smart” for this recovery gig and if it really could remove any desire i had to use. i loved the feeling of getting high and i used to believe that it made my life complete. today, i have a life that does not include getting high and it feels quite complete without it.
when i wonder how open my mind is today, all i have to do,is take a look at my txts. i have allowed someone into my life who is not really someone i would ever had hung with back in the day, based on how he is these days. he is an adherent of a religion i once derided and scoffed at. he is very upfront about his beliefs and i am sure he knows that our spiritual paths are quire dissimilar, and yet he has come to trust me and build a relationship. i, like always, had to make sure he was not using me at his alternative sponsor, seeking someone to validate his bullshit. as i allowed him into my life, bit by very tiny bit, i came to see that he has insight that i do not, one of the gifts of being young in recovery. i have come to trust him and i believe he trusts me. i actually opened my mind to the notion that i could get some new ideas from someone young in recovery that was an unapologetic Christian.
even though i am not in the mood to take care of bidness, it is something that requires my attention this morning. i might have sucked during my workout this morning, but i did it anyhow, even though i had little or no desire to pound out three miles. on this side of that activity, i am grateful that i did the needful and feel better because i got off my ass and just got it done. more and more i am finding that what i feel i do not want to do, is often the next right thing to do, just for today.
when i wonder how open my mind is today, all i have to do,is take a look at my txts. i have allowed someone into my life who is not really someone i would ever had hung with back in the day, based on how he is these days. he is an adherent of a religion i once derided and scoffed at. he is very upfront about his beliefs and i am sure he knows that our spiritual paths are quire dissimilar, and yet he has come to trust me and build a relationship. i, like always, had to make sure he was not using me at his alternative sponsor, seeking someone to validate his bullshit. as i allowed him into my life, bit by very tiny bit, i came to see that he has insight that i do not, one of the gifts of being young in recovery. i have come to trust him and i believe he trusts me. i actually opened my mind to the notion that i could get some new ideas from someone young in recovery that was an unapologetic Christian.
even though i am not in the mood to take care of bidness, it is something that requires my attention this morning. i might have sucked during my workout this morning, but i did it anyhow, even though i had little or no desire to pound out three miles. on this side of that activity, i am grateful that i did the needful and feel better because i got off my ass and just got it done. more and more i am finding that what i feel i do not want to do, is often the next right thing to do, just for today.
∞ DT ∞