Some memes

my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs. it is not often that i start off this exercise with such a long direct quote, especially one that is read in almost every single meeting around the world. it is even less frequently that i use a passage like that as my seed for my morning dip into the void. today, for whatever reason, was one of rare days. when i sat down to read the daily reading i chose, it was not my intention to consider focusing on my recovery today. the metaphor presented in the reading was the glass of water and how to describe the amount of water in the glass. half full? half empty? mine? yours? and the beat goes on and on and on. being the perverse person that i am, i went a whole different direction remember that in early recovery i said more that once, that i was glad to even have a glass to put water in, regardless of how full it was. that attitude still persists today.
as i consider where i was yesterday and how i rote about ending this little exercise, i see that this is a creative outlet for me and a place where i can safely dump my shit. i also see that when i spend the time to concentrate on this exercise, i am actually opening a door to a place inside of me that i keep under fairly tight wraps, even with a minute clean. some day, that door opens wide and more stuff escapes than i planned on, other days, it opens a crack and i struggle to get anything pounded out to the interwebs. today, it is open just wide enough for me to consider where my recovery is today and what i may need to do, to make it more relevant to my life in the here and now.
it si true that i have got a whole lot of things off my to do list, instead of writing out my THIRD STEP. that in and of itself is the most telling fact of the state of my recovery. sure it is nice that list has a shit ton of stuff crossed-off, but my THIRD STEP is still sitting there as the only thing that is left to do. so of course, as i looked around my home today, i found a few more things that require my attention. 😉 i know what my Step writing needs to say and what the nature of my self-will is these days. more importantly i need not get totally miserable before i put pen to paper. i am still in a good spot spiritually and i guess if i wish to remain there, it is time to just let go and see where life takes me, just for today.

∞ DT ∞