๐ my feelings ๐
Posted: Thu, May 21, 2026 07:59:36 AM
-- good or bad -- are only temporary and subject to revision. before i get started, i have to say, that one of the gifts i have received from my recovery journey is the ability NOT to judge my feelings as good or bad, they simply are. moving into that paradigm did not happen overnight and even if it is my active manner of dealing with my feelings, there is still a piece of me that wants to feel only the “good” and change the “bad” ones. needless to say, it is the state of my spiritual condition that rules if i choose to accept that i have feeling or if i actively judge and react to my feelings.
today, anyhow i am in decent spiritual condition, as i actually accept the workout my fitness device has planned for me and toss up my normal sequence of tasks because i chose to roll over and sleep for an extra forty-five minutes. as i sat this morning one of the things that kept popping up was what route i would run this morning that fits the workout suggestion. odd as that may seem, that seems to be my only concern, not my over-length novel that requires a chainsaw to correct it, not the fact that i am meeting with men i sponsor today and tomorrow and not the fact that there is shit going on at my little hobby job that is less than pleasing to me. no, dammit all, what route would i take when running! 😜 that is indicative of nothing really upsetting or emotionally charged going on in my life, at least when i started my day, today. that is certainly a good sign for this over-emotional addict in recovery.
well that was a bit of hyperbole, i am hardly “over-emotional” days, in fact some of the people in my life may even see me as stoic. i like to think of myself as balanced as stoic often conjures up the idea that one does not have feelings or if one does, they do not show them. i am demonstrative with my feelings as appropriate and just because i am not having a good day, i do not need to spew venom and bile on all of those around me. i may not wear my heart on my sleeve, but those in my life know when i am not quite “right.” today,m i have feelings, and today i am capable of responding and showing those feelings and the universe does not collapse into a singularity, just because i have a feeling or three, just for today.
today, anyhow i am in decent spiritual condition, as i actually accept the workout my fitness device has planned for me and toss up my normal sequence of tasks because i chose to roll over and sleep for an extra forty-five minutes. as i sat this morning one of the things that kept popping up was what route i would run this morning that fits the workout suggestion. odd as that may seem, that seems to be my only concern, not my over-length novel that requires a chainsaw to correct it, not the fact that i am meeting with men i sponsor today and tomorrow and not the fact that there is shit going on at my little hobby job that is less than pleasing to me. no, dammit all, what route would i take when running! 😜 that is indicative of nothing really upsetting or emotionally charged going on in my life, at least when i started my day, today. that is certainly a good sign for this over-emotional addict in recovery.
well that was a bit of hyperbole, i am hardly “over-emotional” days, in fact some of the people in my life may even see me as stoic. i like to think of myself as balanced as stoic often conjures up the idea that one does not have feelings or if one does, they do not show them. i am demonstrative with my feelings as appropriate and just because i am not having a good day, i do not need to spew venom and bile on all of those around me. i may not wear my heart on my sleeve, but those in my life know when i am not quite “right.” today,m i have feelings, and today i am capable of responding and showing those feelings and the universe does not collapse into a singularity, just because i have a feeling or three, just for today.
∞ DT ∞