๐ no matter ๐ค
Posted: Sun, Oct 25, 2026 07:26:49 AM
how many days clean i may have, there is still more for me to learn. these days i am working more on relearning my coding skills, more than looking for different paths for my recovery journey. i am curious about moving forward with one possible gig and perhaps while watching the Broncos play this afternoon, i just may do so. what i am curious about today, is how to increase my earnings without adding much more work. i know the dream of ever dreamer, an AI training gig may be just the ticket and my inbox has a few.
in my recovery, i think the time has come for me to consider reading what the SIXTH STEP is all about, once again and move into my assignment. it is not my first time through this set of class V rapids, but at least i know where the rocks and the keepers happen to be. i may actually be able to steer clear of them. i could, if i chose to do so, attribute my bad behavior to being in the throes of my character defects. that would certainly be a great foil, after all, what do you expect, i have to exercise all of my defects before i know if i am entirely ready. 🤣 as lovely as that may be to assuage my conscience, it does little to actually help me take responsibility for my actions, character defects not withstanding. i get the purpose of lurking on this step and i also understand why it is less than comfortable for me to be dilly-dallying here. nevertheless, i will follow the direction of my sponsor and do the work required.
back to the top, recovery as a lifelong learning process. i may think i have a good grasp on human behavior and interaction. i see those with whom i disagree as repeating a whole lot of predigested pablum they read on social media. that is part of being judgemental and yes, contemptuous of them. more than likely what i see as ignorance is may simply be laziness or deeply held beliefs. whatever the source, it is not up to me to denigrate and degrade them in my head. yes i am going to judge them and perhaps find their arguments and statement lacking in actual evidence. be that as it may, IF i want to be healthier and happier, my task is to let them marinate in their worldview, judge them accordingly and treat them with respect and kindness. my life is far too short and my bandwidth to precious to be giving them any of that beyond what is required in the course of human discourse. in the long run, that will help me to find a bit of peace and serenity and the bandwidth to pay attention to my own life, just for today.
in my recovery, i think the time has come for me to consider reading what the SIXTH STEP is all about, once again and move into my assignment. it is not my first time through this set of class V rapids, but at least i know where the rocks and the keepers happen to be. i may actually be able to steer clear of them. i could, if i chose to do so, attribute my bad behavior to being in the throes of my character defects. that would certainly be a great foil, after all, what do you expect, i have to exercise all of my defects before i know if i am entirely ready. 🤣 as lovely as that may be to assuage my conscience, it does little to actually help me take responsibility for my actions, character defects not withstanding. i get the purpose of lurking on this step and i also understand why it is less than comfortable for me to be dilly-dallying here. nevertheless, i will follow the direction of my sponsor and do the work required.
back to the top, recovery as a lifelong learning process. i may think i have a good grasp on human behavior and interaction. i see those with whom i disagree as repeating a whole lot of predigested pablum they read on social media. that is part of being judgemental and yes, contemptuous of them. more than likely what i see as ignorance is may simply be laziness or deeply held beliefs. whatever the source, it is not up to me to denigrate and degrade them in my head. yes i am going to judge them and perhaps find their arguments and statement lacking in actual evidence. be that as it may, IF i want to be healthier and happier, my task is to let them marinate in their worldview, judge them accordingly and treat them with respect and kindness. my life is far too short and my bandwidth to precious to be giving them any of that beyond what is required in the course of human discourse. in the long run, that will help me to find a bit of peace and serenity and the bandwidth to pay attention to my own life, just for today.
∞ DT ∞