Blog entry for:

...freedom from isolation and loneliness that intimacy brings is well worth the effort. the biggest complication, that my latest growth spurt has been bringing, is that those who thought they knew me, have absolutely no clue what i will do or say next. those relationships are in a state of flux, and as a result i do not know where they will end up. i know it can be confusing, at least it is for me, when what seems like out of the blue, someone starts behaving in unexpected ways. so it is no wonder, that as i uncover who i am, and begin to act as that person, that relationships are strained. part of this whole process, has been that i am becoming true to my values, and being who someone else wants or expects is no longer an acceptable value for me. the irony here, at least for me, is that truthfully, it never was a value, merely a coping and survival tactic. one that i kept it as part of recovery, and one that always made me cringe when i caught myself acting it out. but so it goes, the problem i have, is trying to return diplomacy to my life. yes, one may say that being diplomatic may be looked at as being dishonest, and perhaps it is, or maybe it is just doing the best i can to get my point across is a less brutal fashion. i can spin, rationalize and justify with the best of them, but i do believe that as i become moire comfortable with who i am, as was revealed through the growth process, diplomacy will return.
so anyhow, it is time for me to get my hair cut, so off to the scissors and into a new improved look, or an old one that happens everey couple weeks!

∞ DT ∞