Blog entry for:

with an open mind and heart. this is a topic that is close to my heart, as i have been accused many times, of not actually listening to what is being said. that alleged act, is more often than not quite true, as i am noted for preparing a witty comeback, sage advice or more than a few “solutions.” being reminded that maybe all someone wants is an interested and invested listener, is something that this addict cannot be reminded of, enough. so once again, i go down the path of listening and responding, rather that reacting or pontificating.
i have heard it said more than once, that many addicts are ego maniacs with inferiority complexes, and i certainly did fit that bill, when i walked into the rooms. as i stay clean and live a program of recovery, i see my place in the world much more clearly, with each and every passing day. it is nice to feel whole for perhaps the first time in my life, well at least my adult life, because i am quite sure before i started to tell myself the lie, i was complete, but when one is five years old, how can one really tell. as i grow in my self-confidence, i see that i really do not need to speak for others to feel my presence, nor do i need to chime in with my opinion, when i have not been asked. the only thing i am certain of, is that the more i learn, the more i see that i NEED to learn and when i stop learning, i start dying. i work too hard at being physical fit to allow myself to slide into spiritual decline and the misery of mere abstinence.
since i never know where the next vital piece of information may come from, being an active listener is the only route to insure i do not miss something, that may slide under my radar. as i prepare to wrap this up, get the dawg out for her morning constitutional, i know that staying clean today, at least for me, requires much more than is already in my head and my heart. opening them both will allow me to hear what i need to hear and move on with my life, just for today.

∞ DT ∞