Blog entry for:

given by the the POWER that fuels my recovery, my horizon IS limitless. which is exactly what i wanted or even needed to hear this morning. it was a frustrating weekend and i accomplished very little because i took on what was supposed to be a quick little job. it is, as it is, and i am now ready to move forward and catch-up over the next few days or so. it will mean a few long days, but in the long run, if i pay attention to what i need to get done, i will get what i NEED to get done and all will be, as well as it will be.
this so reminds me of something my sponse once said to me and today it is more true than ever. what he said, was he believed the symptom of active addiction was manifest in my decision-making process. when i make a decision that expands my choices, i am living in the solution, when i make i decision that limits my choices, i have started down the funnel back into active addiction. each fork may provide more than one choice, but those choices only have two possible outcomes, expansion or contraction of future choices, my job is to recognize this duality and accept the consequences of either one. yes, the consequences of opening my horizons, means that each time i face another decision, there will be even more choices, and the part of me i call addiction, does not like choices, that part of me likes to be forced into making decisions that are very limited and narrow, and if possible only has two choices. binary decision-making is what that part of me is used to and wants to return to. it is frightening to think that as i make good decisions, the next one will be that much more difficult due to all the new possibilities that are before me.
well this morning i CHOOSE to stay clean. i CHOOSE to be present for what is happening and actually listen to what is going on. i CHOOSE to take the road of recovery as well as advancing my skills and yes my bank balance, bit by bit, as the day progresses. i will even spend a bit of time, doing my Christmas lights, as the day warms up and the winds calm down. my plan, is that when i lay my head on my pillow, i will be content with what i got done and be able to rest comfortably, living in the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery. with that in mind, it is time to hit the keyboard and see what i can get done.

∞ DT ∞