โ in my addiction, my vision of myself was very limited. each day, i went through the same routine; my potential was limited. โ
Posted: Wed, Dec 3, 2008 10:48:00 AM
my potential is limited only by the strength of the HIGHER POWER that cares for me -- and that strength has no limits. although there are days when i wonder how unlimited my potential is, i also find great solace on other days, that my vision is limited by my human comprehension, and that there is more going on than meets the eye. yes i could and maybe will get all mystical here. or maybe i will not, i hardly ever know where these mind dumps will go, although i often have a plan before i start pounding these out.
what strikes me most in the here and now, is how limited i was even in early recovery. my first sponsor was not one of those who had me writing what i thought my life would look like in the future, back when i was just getting clean. i had heard of such an assignment, and being the fantasy kind of person i was, i projected my vision of what recovery would be like, and i was quite disappointed in the results. all i could see and hear in those days, was the boring, humdrum life that many members shared about. of course, that was not what they were speaking about, but i was who i was, and all i heard was the mundane life, those who went on and on about how much better their lives were in recovery, i saw as self-promoters and clueless. i was incapable of seeing life in recovery to be more than just another grind of endless, boring, and mundane days, stretching to the end of my life. in fact, that vision was not that much different than when i was actively using.
so these days, when i look forward, i am still incapable of seeing the future, but based on what has changed and happened since i got clean, and started working an active program of recovery, i can be comfortable knowing that it will be beyond my wildest dreams, and in the long run, i will become the sort of person, i have always desired to become.
so anyhow, not a whole lot of mysticism in this blog, so i better inject a bit before i close. what is happening inside of me, and where i am going is according to a design that come from THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN, and although i do not know where that leads, i know that if i want that particular journey to continue, i need to do what i have been doing, namely practicing and active program of recovery and then let go of the results. i know that i will be amazed by what comes about.
so back to the grind to earn my daily bread!
what strikes me most in the here and now, is how limited i was even in early recovery. my first sponsor was not one of those who had me writing what i thought my life would look like in the future, back when i was just getting clean. i had heard of such an assignment, and being the fantasy kind of person i was, i projected my vision of what recovery would be like, and i was quite disappointed in the results. all i could see and hear in those days, was the boring, humdrum life that many members shared about. of course, that was not what they were speaking about, but i was who i was, and all i heard was the mundane life, those who went on and on about how much better their lives were in recovery, i saw as self-promoters and clueless. i was incapable of seeing life in recovery to be more than just another grind of endless, boring, and mundane days, stretching to the end of my life. in fact, that vision was not that much different than when i was actively using.
so these days, when i look forward, i am still incapable of seeing the future, but based on what has changed and happened since i got clean, and started working an active program of recovery, i can be comfortable knowing that it will be beyond my wildest dreams, and in the long run, i will become the sort of person, i have always desired to become.
so anyhow, not a whole lot of mysticism in this blog, so i better inject a bit before i close. what is happening inside of me, and where i am going is according to a design that come from THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN, and although i do not know where that leads, i know that if i want that particular journey to continue, i need to do what i have been doing, namely practicing and active program of recovery and then let go of the results. i know that i will be amazed by what comes about.
so back to the grind to earn my daily bread!
∞ DT ∞