ฯ when i was a FNG, i was given time, attention, and love ฯ
Posted: Sat, Dec 15, 2012 08:08:03 AM
by the members who were already here. although the though may have occurred to me, way back when it was quite a few days before i asked, **What can I do to repay you?**
yes i went the long way round to get here. for me, it is important to acknowledge what it is was like, back in those days especially, since i was forced to be here and sit in the chairs until i got or my sentence was successfully discharged. those were certainly interesting times for me, as there was always two thoughts in my mind, how can i stay clean today and when can i call my lawyer and ask the judge to reconsider my time under his thumb and set me free to return to the life i so nostalgically looked back upon. so honestly the question of repayment for the kindnesses shown me, in those early days never entered my mind, nor was i grateful for any day clean. i just wanted out and the members who were in the room knew that, and yet they continued to embrace me and kept telling to keep coming back.
today, well much has changed over the few days that comprise my clean-time. i am still clean and i have never had to relapse, and for those two facts of my life, i place the blame squarely on the members of the fellowship that is my recovery home. the debt of gratitude i feel today? well i know that i CAN NEVER repay it, but i certainly do my best to whittle it down, word by word and deed by deed.
so i am at a loss for words and i have discovered that when i have nothing to say, it certainly is time to move on. this is a day chock full of responsibilities and fun stuff and as such, i guess i better get rolling on it. see you on the flip side, and yes it is a great day to be clean and on this side of the dirt!
yes i went the long way round to get here. for me, it is important to acknowledge what it is was like, back in those days especially, since i was forced to be here and sit in the chairs until i got or my sentence was successfully discharged. those were certainly interesting times for me, as there was always two thoughts in my mind, how can i stay clean today and when can i call my lawyer and ask the judge to reconsider my time under his thumb and set me free to return to the life i so nostalgically looked back upon. so honestly the question of repayment for the kindnesses shown me, in those early days never entered my mind, nor was i grateful for any day clean. i just wanted out and the members who were in the room knew that, and yet they continued to embrace me and kept telling to keep coming back.
today, well much has changed over the few days that comprise my clean-time. i am still clean and i have never had to relapse, and for those two facts of my life, i place the blame squarely on the members of the fellowship that is my recovery home. the debt of gratitude i feel today? well i know that i CAN NEVER repay it, but i certainly do my best to whittle it down, word by word and deed by deed.
so i am at a loss for words and i have discovered that when i have nothing to say, it certainly is time to move on. this is a day chock full of responsibilities and fun stuff and as such, i guess i better get rolling on it. see you on the flip side, and yes it is a great day to be clean and on this side of the dirt!
∞ DT ∞