Some memes

if i had actually believed what i was being told, way back when, the fact that i am still clean, would hardly be surprising. what was that message that i found so incredulous? that an addict, any addict, could lose the desire to use and find a new way to live. more important, if that addict lived this program of recovery, they never had to use again, just for today. the fact that many of my peers, from back in those days, are once again becoming part of the meetings i happen to attend, only strengthens the assertion that it is not only possible, but actually probable that long term recovery is achievable. but **I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.**
what i heard this morning, is that i am proof that this recovery program works. the odd part of that notion is that regardless of the dismal statistics of long term recovery among addicted persons, there is HOPE!

Mindy Z.
TEN years, count 'em, clean!
Congrats my friend on getting a DECADE's worth of just for todays.

the “Brutus” in the allusion i started above, is the part of me i call addiction. where once upon a time it was easier for me to look at addiction as something alien, or perhaps a “split personality,” over time i have come to see that Brutus and Caesar are one in the same, just plain old me. my shortcomings are the knives i use to murder my recovery. the addict that is me, is aided by the stories i have told myself since i was young and abetted by the filters of bias and prejudice i polished to a fine focus as i stumbled through my decades of using.
the leftovers of that era of my life, still echo today, in how i react to the events that i occur in my daily life. those reactions, at times, feel “hard-wired” and “set in stone.” the HOPE of STEP SEVEN, is that as i practice letting GOD remove those, i will get the FREEDOM to respond, rather than react. my FAITH in this process is bolstered by the progress i have made in my life to date. not every thing is a personal insult or a sign of disrespect to me anymore. in these “interesting” times, i can withdraw into myself, build a bubble world of fantasy, fed by the tidbits of news that bolsters my tainted worldview. OR i can accept that these times are trying and do my best to open my mind to the possibilities that are presented and rationally decide what is real and what is fake. conspiracy theories and duplicitous politicians abound, but the worst ones are the one that i manufacture in my head and come to believe are true. instead of burying Caesar today, maybe Brutus needs to be interred.

∞ DT ∞