๐ค being there ๐ค
Posted: Fri, Sep 10, 2021 06:40:55 AM
it has been a year for me. more than once across the course of the past 366 days, i have had the notion that maybe staying clean was not paying off and a quick trip to a purveyor of legal substances would relieve my pain and make everything okay. it is only because of my peers in recovery, my friends and my loved ones that i survived lack of social contact, grief and the consequences of making a hard decision, or three. i also have to be grateful for getting what i needed from the POWER that fuels my recovery. as a result i GET to celebrate TWENTY-FOUR years clean and gratefully acknowledge my peers who share our clean date:
enough about what was, that trip around the sun has passed, i am still clean, what is on my mind this morning, is the latest addiction to the handful of netizens who read these little bits of mind-dumpery. once upon a time, i wrote these to get attention and perhaps find the means to achieve some sort of fame. of course, that never happened and yet i persisted in writing this on a nearly daily basis. as the days piled up and the corpus of these writing continued to build, my intent changed into one of saying what i needed to say, even if no one was listening. well someone new is listening now and i am not sure how i should feel about it. it is not as if they have ever acknowledged what it means to be clean, just for today. they are a part of my life, and yet they seem to ignore this part of my life and a very long time ago, i gave up on the notion that they would ever see this as something more than a fad. it is what it is and mostly i am sad that they feel the need to comment on social media with a GIF, rather than actually talking to me about what it is i am writing and how i actually feel.
all of that aside, where i am going today, is into a mode of celebrating with those who “get” me and have seen me progress from being an over-entitled, self-centered noob, into the man i am today. i GET to celebrate another day clean and i GET to decide how many miles i will cover today. i have everything i need today, and more than enough of my wants. life goes on and who know what will be revealed to me, if i stay here and am there for everyone who happens to need a bit of me to get through their day.
Chris M,
Congrats on Twelve (12) years CLEAN!
Leonard H,
Congrats on Fifteen (15) years CLEAN!
enough about what was, that trip around the sun has passed, i am still clean, what is on my mind this morning, is the latest addiction to the handful of netizens who read these little bits of mind-dumpery. once upon a time, i wrote these to get attention and perhaps find the means to achieve some sort of fame. of course, that never happened and yet i persisted in writing this on a nearly daily basis. as the days piled up and the corpus of these writing continued to build, my intent changed into one of saying what i needed to say, even if no one was listening. well someone new is listening now and i am not sure how i should feel about it. it is not as if they have ever acknowledged what it means to be clean, just for today. they are a part of my life, and yet they seem to ignore this part of my life and a very long time ago, i gave up on the notion that they would ever see this as something more than a fad. it is what it is and mostly i am sad that they feel the need to comment on social media with a GIF, rather than actually talking to me about what it is i am writing and how i actually feel.
all of that aside, where i am going today, is into a mode of celebrating with those who “get” me and have seen me progress from being an over-entitled, self-centered noob, into the man i am today. i GET to celebrate another day clean and i GET to decide how many miles i will cover today. i have everything i need today, and more than enough of my wants. life goes on and who know what will be revealed to me, if i stay here and am there for everyone who happens to need a bit of me to get through their day.
∞ DT ∞