Blog entry for:

so if i look at my today and think back to my life when i was actively using, i would be quite jealous of what i have today, although i took great pains to hide it, when i was using, one of the things i desired most was a ;normal life. you know, a nice house, a reliable dependable automobile, a loving relationship, friends who actually cared for me, a good paying and fulfilling job, and most of all some emotional stability.
however, if you had asked me what i wanted back then, i would have made some joke about my next use or come up with a total non sequitur to cover what i truly wanted but thought was unattainable. ‘coolness’ did not even enter into that equation, although i would deride and denigrate anyone who espoused the desire to live the life i dreamed of.
well today i have all those things and a great deal more. no one ever promised me that recovery would lead to such a life, but they did say that it was possible for any addict to get these gifts, if they chose to stay clean and allowed the process of recovery to work in their life. today i can take pleasure in the way my life is, simple and fairly predictable, and not at all dull and boring. and the ability to enjoy that pleasure is one of the gifts of recovery i cherish and do my best to nourish by doing what i need to do on a daily basis. life is pleasurable for me today and for that i am grateful!

∞ DT ∞