Some memes

of responsibility is a topic that has been coming up a lot in my life these days. when i got clean my life was all about rationalization,, justification and blame. i certainly latched on to the notion of not being responsible for being an addict, but i resisted taking any sort of responsibility to do anything about it. these days when i peek at where i am and where i was, i see that the only path that brought me here was through learning how to be responsible for my recovery. listening to the “we” shares this morning at my home group, i saw that what i was missing, today at least, was tolerance for the form of what was shared, even though i did not disagree with the content. in this day and age of pronouns, i still hammer home to all those that listen that generalizing my recovery path to my peers, is not only pointless but it protects me from having to own the responsibility of sharing about who i am and how i got here.
before i got out and about today, i kept coming back to the notion of what was i doing to foster my recovery and if i was truly being responsible for the choices i make, just for today. my conclusion? well of course i might be able to do“better,” BUT i was not doing it as poorly as i think i am, after all i am clean today and i do have a measure of serenity i never believed was possible. i do not think that working the steps is “magic,” however that action certainly is transformative as i see on a daily basis as i look at the person i am becoming.
this afternoon, i do have stuff to accomplish and as a person who is responsible for his recovery, that means taking care of the stuff life requires that i do, including getting my steps in, doing my lawn work and taking action on the tasks i volunteered for at the last HOA meeting. i can do all of that and maybe get a start on the book for book club, because there certainly are enough hours left in this day to be responsible to myself, my family, my community and my peers, just for today.

∞ DT ∞