๐ฃ accepting ๐ซ
Posted: Tue, May 30, 2023 09:10:50 AM
the path of another peer has been a recent addiction to my program of active recovery. OK, by recent i mean within the past decade or so. i know before that time my goal was to give the men i sponsor, exactly what i had been given, exactly as it was given to me and to expect them to have the same results as i did. not exactly a mini-me, but not too far off that mark. what i “got” was a shit-ton of resistance and more than a little rebellion and push-back, in the form of not talking to me about anything. as i became more secure about who i was becoming and how my program was allowing me to succeed, i became a whole lot less adamant about showing them a “the way” and forcing them to uncover what was in my plain sight, themselves.
unfortunately, some of them, seemed to liked me to provide the answers for them, rather than sussing them out for themselves. as i drew away from telling them stuff, they became dazed and confused. they begged me to return to the previous paradigm and i refused, leading to all sorts of interesting results, none of which were unexpected or unplanned for in my world. i find it sad that some of my peers, former sponsees and closed-mouth friends want recovery served up to them on a silver platter, as my second sponsor attempted to do for me. i can honestly say that at that time, i needed a “heavy hand.” i can also say that if someone asks me to sponsor them today, that is not what they will get, as my days of exerting power over how one of the men i sponsor lives their program of recovery, are over.
coming back into the here and now, i can say i am mostly recovered from my race day aches and pains. i do know that this week will be a “light” work-out week to allow my body to catch up with the miles and miles i have been putting on it. i know that when i start my day off with fitness programs, spiritual and physical, my emotional balance and mental health seem to improve. i have suggested exercise to my sedentary sponsees, but if they choose to go down that path consistently or not, is something i choose not to judge. i know what is working for me. i am glad to share it with anyone who asks and once i do, what they do or do not do with it is totally up to them. just for today i accept that anything i gift to anyone may or may not be put to use and i am more than okay with that outcome.
unfortunately, some of them, seemed to liked me to provide the answers for them, rather than sussing them out for themselves. as i drew away from telling them stuff, they became dazed and confused. they begged me to return to the previous paradigm and i refused, leading to all sorts of interesting results, none of which were unexpected or unplanned for in my world. i find it sad that some of my peers, former sponsees and closed-mouth friends want recovery served up to them on a silver platter, as my second sponsor attempted to do for me. i can honestly say that at that time, i needed a “heavy hand.” i can also say that if someone asks me to sponsor them today, that is not what they will get, as my days of exerting power over how one of the men i sponsor lives their program of recovery, are over.
coming back into the here and now, i can say i am mostly recovered from my race day aches and pains. i do know that this week will be a “light” work-out week to allow my body to catch up with the miles and miles i have been putting on it. i know that when i start my day off with fitness programs, spiritual and physical, my emotional balance and mental health seem to improve. i have suggested exercise to my sedentary sponsees, but if they choose to go down that path consistently or not, is something i choose not to judge. i know what is working for me. i am glad to share it with anyone who asks and once i do, what they do or do not do with it is totally up to them. just for today i accept that anything i gift to anyone may or may not be put to use and i am more than okay with that outcome.
∞ DT ∞