Δ the kind of honesty that is truly indispensable in recovery ... δ
Posted: Wed, Jun 21, 2006 08:04:35 AM
... is self-honesty, which is neither easy nor simple to achieve.
nor is it painless once my cover has been blown. i know that the lies and rationalizations i spun around inside my own head were part of the very intricate survival mechanism i had created to keep my fragile ego from exploding into shards of a totally broken person. and as i work the steps and come to the place where i can actually accept the truth about myself, then this whole bit of needing to protect myself from the slings and arrows of the truth about myself simply vanishes in the haze.
what struck me the most about the reading was how it tied itself into the the eleventh step, that the voice i hear when i quiet my ego and ideas is the truth about me. and that somehow discovering the truth about myself is what my HIGHER POWER has always had in mind for me anyhow, the whole time!
enough for me to digest this morning -- time to move forward and be responsible (YUCK)! just for right now
nor is it painless once my cover has been blown. i know that the lies and rationalizations i spun around inside my own head were part of the very intricate survival mechanism i had created to keep my fragile ego from exploding into shards of a totally broken person. and as i work the steps and come to the place where i can actually accept the truth about myself, then this whole bit of needing to protect myself from the slings and arrows of the truth about myself simply vanishes in the haze.
what struck me the most about the reading was how it tied itself into the the eleventh step, that the voice i hear when i quiet my ego and ideas is the truth about me. and that somehow discovering the truth about myself is what my HIGHER POWER has always had in mind for me anyhow, the whole time!
enough for me to digest this morning -- time to move forward and be responsible (YUCK)! just for right now
∞ DT ∞