Blog entry for:

for living an unexamined life is practically nil these days. oh that does not mean i do anything close to perfect and i never have to dive into the corrective part of STEP 10. no, what it means for me right and right now, is that as i slip into less than stellar attitudes and behaviors i have the ways and means to catch myself and choose to move in a different direction. my aversion to admitting i was wrong, behaved badly or fVcked someone over, keeps my closer to living an active program of recovery. as i sat this morning, not a whole lot bubbled up to the surface, and i got to be. it is not often i get to be a human “be”ing rather than a human doing and the respite from the drama and trauma that has marked my days lately is something that i am very grateful for, as i pound this out.
i am not very good at commitment, BUT, and yes it is a big one, i do this maintenance gig every day, except however, when i was doing something else, such as trekking to the summit of Kilimanjaro. to say anything else, would be more than a bit disingenuous, to say the least. the fact that i have been living under a mountain of stress brought on with my interactions with one particular member of my family got resolved for at least the past twenty-four hours. i know i cannot count on this “peace” to last, but i will enjoy the space i am being given.
work is work, and i am not in the mood to work at all. i want to sit back and chill. my boss and teammates however, expect me to be pounding out the hist, day after day. so i better get to it as our daily stand-up comes to an end. i am more than okay today, secure in the FAITH that i am doing much more than the bare minimum to stay clean and live a life in recovery.

∞ DT ∞