๐ฒ i have come ๐
Posted: Sun, May 11, 2025 12:39:46 PM
to recognize that i am, quite frankly, screwed on my own and decided to accept some help. the nature of that help? well at first it was those folks in the rooms, who i had not pushed away, during my period of mere abstinence. in fact, one of those folks, agreed to be my sponsor, even though he had major issues of his own, that required doing a FIFTH STEP with a member of another fellowship who was in last few weeks of life. even though my sponse at the time, though he was irredeemable, he guided me through ten steps, until he vanished into the ether, leaving me in the quite capable hands of the man who would my sponsor for the next couple of decades.
that help, human in nature, brought me to a place where i could start to look for help from beyond the physical realm. those men, as human, frail and flawed as all of are, took me from a place of self-reliance and isolation, into a state where i could finally connect with a HIGHER POWER of my understanding, even if that understanding was lacking. they encouraged me in my darkest hours, to forge ahead and assured me that everything was just as it was supposed to be, even when it did not feel that way to me. the connection i formed from the men i have called my sponsor, transferred into being able to connect with my peers and offer the sort of example of what this addict can be, when he allows himself the freedom to recover.
as i get rolling on this new set of steps, i see that my assignment, to determine what i MUST turn over to the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery and what i can deal with myself, is all about taking further responsibility for my recovery. today, just for today, i have the desire to do the next correct thing, even if it costs me something, as life is not a zero sum game. today, thanks to the men that have led me to this point in my recovery, i can give with no expectation of getting something in return and graciously accept anything that may come in return. in fact, just for today, i can let go of what i have not done and move forward into just being present for what i need to do.
that help, human in nature, brought me to a place where i could start to look for help from beyond the physical realm. those men, as human, frail and flawed as all of are, took me from a place of self-reliance and isolation, into a state where i could finally connect with a HIGHER POWER of my understanding, even if that understanding was lacking. they encouraged me in my darkest hours, to forge ahead and assured me that everything was just as it was supposed to be, even when it did not feel that way to me. the connection i formed from the men i have called my sponsor, transferred into being able to connect with my peers and offer the sort of example of what this addict can be, when he allows himself the freedom to recover.
as i get rolling on this new set of steps, i see that my assignment, to determine what i MUST turn over to the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery and what i can deal with myself, is all about taking further responsibility for my recovery. today, just for today, i have the desire to do the next correct thing, even if it costs me something, as life is not a zero sum game. today, thanks to the men that have led me to this point in my recovery, i can give with no expectation of getting something in return and graciously accept anything that may come in return. in fact, just for today, i can let go of what i have not done and move forward into just being present for what i need to do.
∞ DT ∞