Some memes

practice willingness, self-support, and humility, in their proper proportions, is certainly something i can focus on today. if i were to trip back into the what once was, i would have to say that i never quite understood how these three ideas melded together. since i am not going in that direction, just for today, i need to peek at how well i am doing just that, in the here and now. if i were to take a stab art that evaluation, without any thought, i would say, pretty damn good and list a litany of examples that i shade towards making myself feel good about myself. i i thought to much, i would more than likely say i suck, furnishing the same examples, but shaded towards the dark and miserable self that i am known to possess. in reality, the truth is somewhere between those extremes, and those same examples have contrasting elements which mat-y be deemed as “positive” and “negative.” in that vein, i can say that i am probably doing better at balancing those three spiritual principles than i thing i am.
listening to what i am feeling today, i feel as if i need to work by putting in job applications and doing some more skill-building, even though it is Sunday. the unholy trinity in my head is convicting me of being lazy, unwilling and far too proud. that terrible trio never gives me any breaks and the less i listen to what it is screaming at me, the more iot sounds like white noise, rather than any sort of rational argument. in fact, these days, it has taken on many characteristics of the MAGAt movement, where the denial of facts is lumped under “fake news” or “communist, leftist conspiracies.” as i begin to recognize what my sponse calls the “asshole in my head,” i begin to see myself for what i really am and get a glimpse of where i might be going, maybe the Post Office might be an interesting place to work. exploring that possibility is a task for tomorrow. now it is time to vacate the premises and spend a bit of time enjoying a cigar, doing very little productive work at all.

∞ DT ∞