β when the secrets are in control, β
Posted: Mon, Aug 28, 2006 10:22:40 AM
they drive a wedge between myself, my Higher Power, and the things i value most about my recovery.
and secrets are the last thing on my mind today. i have been in almost constant motion for the past three hours and it looks like it is not ready to stop yet. so it goes.
what am i holding near and dear to my heart today, that if revealed may cause shame and internal suffering? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM??
a very interesting question. nothing rolls out of my mind, so it must be that there are no secrets that need to be revealed. on the other hand, some of my behavior in regards to my character defects are fully revealed to myself today. stress does that to me, but i do not think stress is the answer, i think that i am just acting out, or better put, choosing to act-out because i do not want to admit that i am worried about the near future, specifically what will happen thursday evening when i try and board the plane to take me to the Florida keys. but of course i am powerless over the weather and everything else today so my secret is that today i need to let go and let the day and the week play out as it will. and of course clean up the messes i have already made today. not too much to think about really and the task is simple, just go back to basics and live. so i think i will. off to the races once more.
and secrets are the last thing on my mind today. i have been in almost constant motion for the past three hours and it looks like it is not ready to stop yet. so it goes.
what am i holding near and dear to my heart today, that if revealed may cause shame and internal suffering? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM??
a very interesting question. nothing rolls out of my mind, so it must be that there are no secrets that need to be revealed. on the other hand, some of my behavior in regards to my character defects are fully revealed to myself today. stress does that to me, but i do not think stress is the answer, i think that i am just acting out, or better put, choosing to act-out because i do not want to admit that i am worried about the near future, specifically what will happen thursday evening when i try and board the plane to take me to the Florida keys. but of course i am powerless over the weather and everything else today so my secret is that today i need to let go and let the day and the week play out as it will. and of course clean up the messes i have already made today. not too much to think about really and the task is simple, just go back to basics and live. so i think i will. off to the races once more.
∞ DT ∞