Some memes

i certainly know the pain of addiction but i also know the joy of recovery we have found in the fellowship that has saved my life. i am in a sort of strange mood this morning, as i chilled my way into the real world. i certainly did not obey my watch and i am really in the mood not to obey anything today. i know there are times when my authority complex kicks into high gear and perhaps today is one of those times. or maybe, i am just reacting to being sort of back in the work force and today i want to be totally off. ironically i took the job as a lark and to give me something to do on a very part time basis. i can complain all that i want to, but in reality, i volunteered for this gig and there is a bit of joy in having something to do that is not a total waste of my time.
as i was running this morning, pushing myself to be a bit faster than yesterday, i felt more than a little bit of joy and accomplishment. as i consider where i am today and where i was a year ago, i can see that a am in a much better place, i have made my peace with my Mom, and most of my siblings and a Christmas celebration without them is probably going to be the norm. i also am fairly certain that as i get more hours at my little distraction, i may come to feel ≴put out.” i also know that i have the ways and means to accept and be okay with my decision to be semi-retired.
sitting here enjoying my cigar, i feel totally cool with having nothing that “needs” be done by me today. i may drive delivery a bit this afternoon, but i have yet to make that decision. my day is wide open and i may just keep it that way, as i am feeling more than a little joy as i play around. it is a grate day to be clean and feel the expectations i place on myself, fade to black, just for today.

∞ DT ∞