β i believed that the fun stopped when the using stopped. β
Posted: Sun, Apr 15, 2007 07:48:22 AM
today, i can laugh at that misconception because i know how full my life in recovery can be. the things i enjoy so much in recovery are gained by actively participating in the FELLOWSHIP.
okay i know i have written more than once on the boring and ever so glum if i am not using topic, at least once before. it is a topic that once was a favorite of mine but now seems to be fairly trivial. what i would really like to write on is the entry from yesterday about a new vision of myself and perhaps if i am a bit clever i can weave these two themes together in a seamless whole.
anyhow, i was participating in service yesterday and never found the time to post a blog, much less take care of myself as well as i have become accustomed to doing. the day was long and filled with dealing with issues and personalities that comprise my local fellowship, but as i look back over the past twenty-four hours this morning, i am glad that i still choose to participate in the service. this is not the person i was when i came to recovery, i thought i was entitled to the doors being open, the coffee being fresh, the literature rack full of informational pamphlets that i would never read, and that someone would clean-up after i left my mess behind. that was a few days ago, and i have a slightly different perspective on that sort of stuff today, i still think i am entitled to attend a meeting of my fellowship anywhere i happen to be, and as a result am working with the other members of my fellowship to make that a reality. i do not believe that i am entitled to much more than that. i have to contribute to my home group and the groups that i attend on any basis, to allow those doors to stay open. i have to give freely of my time, money and the most difficult one for me lately my experience, strength and hope. after all, it was those gifts that have allowed to be happy and have more than a bit of fun without a single drop or molecule of a mind-altering substance. and honestly, most days i have quite a few moments of fun and games, and believe that i am better off without the effects of the symptoms of the disease of addiction. so the new man i look at in the mirror each morning is quite unrecognizable from the man who used to scowl back at me, this guy appears more content and less angry than that other guy. i know that is the visible effect of my choice to live a program of recovery and that choice will not make me any less happy or content in the future. not that every minute will be filled with joy and peace, that is quite unrealistic to believe, but the moments that are i will be able to see and enjoy in that very moment. life is far from boring today and for that i am grateful!
okay i know i have written more than once on the boring and ever so glum if i am not using topic, at least once before. it is a topic that once was a favorite of mine but now seems to be fairly trivial. what i would really like to write on is the entry from yesterday about a new vision of myself and perhaps if i am a bit clever i can weave these two themes together in a seamless whole.
anyhow, i was participating in service yesterday and never found the time to post a blog, much less take care of myself as well as i have become accustomed to doing. the day was long and filled with dealing with issues and personalities that comprise my local fellowship, but as i look back over the past twenty-four hours this morning, i am glad that i still choose to participate in the service. this is not the person i was when i came to recovery, i thought i was entitled to the doors being open, the coffee being fresh, the literature rack full of informational pamphlets that i would never read, and that someone would clean-up after i left my mess behind. that was a few days ago, and i have a slightly different perspective on that sort of stuff today, i still think i am entitled to attend a meeting of my fellowship anywhere i happen to be, and as a result am working with the other members of my fellowship to make that a reality. i do not believe that i am entitled to much more than that. i have to contribute to my home group and the groups that i attend on any basis, to allow those doors to stay open. i have to give freely of my time, money and the most difficult one for me lately my experience, strength and hope. after all, it was those gifts that have allowed to be happy and have more than a bit of fun without a single drop or molecule of a mind-altering substance. and honestly, most days i have quite a few moments of fun and games, and believe that i am better off without the effects of the symptoms of the disease of addiction. so the new man i look at in the mirror each morning is quite unrecognizable from the man who used to scowl back at me, this guy appears more content and less angry than that other guy. i know that is the visible effect of my choice to live a program of recovery and that choice will not make me any less happy or content in the future. not that every minute will be filled with joy and peace, that is quite unrealistic to believe, but the moments that are i will be able to see and enjoy in that very moment. life is far from boring today and for that i am grateful!
∞ DT ∞