Blog entry for:
Mon, May 23, 2005 05:59:06 AM
∞ amends and sponsors ∞
posted: Mon, May 23, 2005 05:59:06 AM
well i have been running since i woke up this morning to catch up with all the things that i neglected over the weekend. getting ready to lose a weekend to service has caused a bit of backlog on the tasks i need to accomplish, but sometimes it feels good to have some running to do.
anyhow, this has been an issue of great confusion for me. when i was working my ninth step last time, there were a few people that i wanted to make amends to that had no knowledge of the harm i had caused. i really hate doing indirect amends because they do not have the same feel of relief that direct ones do. i feel duplicitous not coming clean by inventorying all the harm i have done someone. somehow i want to let them know all that i have done and let them react and interact with me with full knowledge of the shit i have been to them in the past. i am sure i feel like an amends should be like the confessional booth, i need to come totally clean and be forgiven all my sins against them. the literature is very clear on this issue, the amends process is not a confession, but rather a chance to fix the apparent damage i have done and learn to live in a manner that will minimize the harm i do in the future.
i have witnessed what the result is when a direct amends covers terra incognito and have learned to forgive myself for the damage done in the past, when i need to make an indirect amends. thank GOD that i have has men in my life who choose to sponsor me and take me through this process and understood when and what i needed to share in my amends process.
∞ DT ∞
anyhow, this has been an issue of great confusion for me. when i was working my ninth step last time, there were a few people that i wanted to make amends to that had no knowledge of the harm i had caused. i really hate doing indirect amends because they do not have the same feel of relief that direct ones do. i feel duplicitous not coming clean by inventorying all the harm i have done someone. somehow i want to let them know all that i have done and let them react and interact with me with full knowledge of the shit i have been to them in the past. i am sure i feel like an amends should be like the confessional booth, i need to come totally clean and be forgiven all my sins against them. the literature is very clear on this issue, the amends process is not a confession, but rather a chance to fix the apparent damage i have done and learn to live in a manner that will minimize the harm i do in the future.
i have witnessed what the result is when a direct amends covers terra incognito and have learned to forgive myself for the damage done in the past, when i need to make an indirect amends. thank GOD that i have has men in my life who choose to sponsor me and take me through this process and understood when and what i needed to share in my amends process.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
α easing my guilty conscience or taking responsibility Ω 423 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2006 by: donnot∞ i am not just seeking freedom from remorse ∞ 250 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2007 by: donnot
μ in an effort to purge myself of the guilt i feel for what i have done … 288 words ➥ Friday, May 23, 2008 by: donnot
↔ i might as well face it, i left a trail of destruction in my wake ↔ 603 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2009 by: donnot
¢ i never again want to inflict harm on my loved ones ¢ 677 words ➥ Sunday, May 23, 2010 by: donnot
§ i want to be free of my guilt, but § 537 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2011 by: donnot
¦ i wish to accept responsibility for my actions ¦ 362 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2012 by: donnot
∗ the Ninth Step is not about easing my guilty conscience ∗ 433 words ➥ Thursday, May 23, 2013 by: donnot
≠ i might as well face it: ≠ 525 words ➥ Friday, May 23, 2014 by: donnot
« and may do little good » 674 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2015 by: donnot
∵ amends and ∴ 759 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2016 by: donnot
∫ not about easing ∬ 1008 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2017 by: donnot
🏚 affecting change 🏜 639 words ➥ Wednesday, May 23, 2018 by: donnot
🏃 seeking freedom 🏃 560 words ➥ Thursday, May 23, 2019 by: donnot
🚔 my guilty conscience 🚓 242 words ➥ Saturday, May 23, 2020 by: donnot
🏁 at the expense 🏟 598 words ➥ Sunday, May 23, 2021 by: donnot
😶 accepting responsibility 😶 423 words ➥ Monday, May 23, 2022 by: donnot
😵 maturity 😲 523 words ➥ Tuesday, May 23, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
1) When the intelligent and animal souls are held together in one
embrace, they can be kept from separating. When one gives undivided
attention to the (vital) breath, and brings it to the utmost degree
of pliancy, he can become as a (tender) babe. When he has cleansed
away the most mysterious sights (of his imagination), he can become
without a flaw.