¦ i wish to accept responsibility for my actions ¦
Posted: Wed, May 23, 2012 06:56:34 AM
yes, i know, this entry was all about making RESPONSIBLE amends. i get it, and i actually do talk with my sponsor before moving forward with an amends.
what is on my mind, however, i way off topic. last night i heard two members at the meeting whining about how other members were keeping them from embracing the program. i have heard the excuse many times before, and i really do not know what they expect from a group of sick fVcks. what i heard was that we, as a whole, were not meeting their expectations by being less than perfect. i have a sponsee who falls into the same trap, and always throws STEP 12 back whenever anyone looks at him cross-eyed. what i heard last night, and have heard in the past, is the excuse to use again. way back when i first got clean, my sponsor was kind enough to remind me that if i do not want to see my life story on the front page of the local paper, keep what i share general in an open meeting and use him and my closed-mouth friends to deal with my specific issues, after all, THIS IS NOT TALK THERAPY! that sage advice, which i do pass on to anyone who asks, continues to serve me well. the other idea he planted was that only i could kick me out. when i give away my personal power by allowing what others say and do, to keep me from the source of my recovery, I LOSE, not them. i have so little power over anything why should i relinquish stuff that i do have a modicum of control over. what they say, well WAH FVCKING WAH, is what they say, my goal today is to stay clean and learn how to live a better life. so back to Denver i go for the first time in a week,who knows how long i will be there today, life can be interesting and whatever happens i am certain the POWER that fuel\s my recovery has my BACK!
what is on my mind, however, i way off topic. last night i heard two members at the meeting whining about how other members were keeping them from embracing the program. i have heard the excuse many times before, and i really do not know what they expect from a group of sick fVcks. what i heard was that we, as a whole, were not meeting their expectations by being less than perfect. i have a sponsee who falls into the same trap, and always throws STEP 12 back whenever anyone looks at him cross-eyed. what i heard last night, and have heard in the past, is the excuse to use again. way back when i first got clean, my sponsor was kind enough to remind me that if i do not want to see my life story on the front page of the local paper, keep what i share general in an open meeting and use him and my closed-mouth friends to deal with my specific issues, after all, THIS IS NOT TALK THERAPY! that sage advice, which i do pass on to anyone who asks, continues to serve me well. the other idea he planted was that only i could kick me out. when i give away my personal power by allowing what others say and do, to keep me from the source of my recovery, I LOSE, not them. i have so little power over anything why should i relinquish stuff that i do have a modicum of control over. what they say, well WAH FVCKING WAH, is what they say, my goal today is to stay clean and learn how to live a better life. so back to Denver i go for the first time in a week,who knows how long i will be there today, life can be interesting and whatever happens i am certain the POWER that fuel\s my recovery has my BACK!
∞ DT ∞